Page 1 Page 2 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22
10:20 PM
Harm quietly opened his apartment door and stepped inside, trying his best not to wake his grandmother or Mac. Since both the bedroom and the living room had been pitch dark when he’d looked up at the windows just a few minutes ago, he was sure they were both fast asleep and out for the night. At that thought, Harm sighed in relief and rubbed his hands over his face tiredly, careful to avoid his already swollen eye.
Sleep. ‘That word sounds so damn good right now,’ he thought wearily. He was more than ready to follow Mac and his grandmother to slumber land. It had been a very long day. But first, he needed to take care of his throbbing head and badly bruised eye before it swelled shut. Aspirin and ice were next on the agenda.
Harm glanced towards his bedroom and jumped when he saw his grandmother sitting on a chair in the dark at the entrance of his bedroom. The room was eerily illuminated by one of the street lamps and it appeared as though she was only wearing her cotton nightgown and…
“What the hell?” Harm muttered to himself. He narrowed his eyebrows, peering more deeply into the darkened room. ‘Is that… it can’t be… can it? Is that zany woman really holding my baseball bat in her hands?’ Just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating after the blow to the head from Mic, he turned on the small table lamp next to the apartment door so that he could have a better look.
The lamp offered a little more light so that he could take a good look at his grandmother. ‘Oh boy,’ Harm thought as his grandmother was indeed sitting guard outside the bedroom, clad in her cotton nightgown, a determined stare on her face, and yes his baseball bat firmly positioned on her shoulder.
His eyes grew wide at the bewildering scene. ‘Ha…, definitely gives a new connotation to the word batwoman,’ he mused grinning. “Ummm…Grams?”
“Yeah?” she replied stoically.
“What’s wrong? I’m almost afraid to ask, but why are you sitting there like that?” Harm asked chuckling, motioning to the bat in her hand. “You look like Xena on a mission.”
His grandmother looked first at the bedroom entrance and then glared at Harm. The word ‘duh’ was foremost on her mind, but she refrained from letting it out of her mouth.
“Funny you should ask,” she ventured. “I’m trying to prevent the Marine in there from going AWOL,” she said, pointing her head at the bedroom entrance. “Actually, I think I’m preventing her from going MIA!” she added with a chuckle. “You know that I know only too well how stubborn you Navy people can be. Between your grandfather and your father, I have firsthand experience,” Grandma Sarah reflected briefly before smirking. She then gently shook the bat at her grandson without looking at him. “I can also say the same for you… of course.”
“Of course,” Harm replied, grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary.
“But damn, those Marines are tough… maybe even worse,” Grandma Sarah concluded, shaking her head. “At least as far as that one in there is concerned,” she added, pointing the bat at the bedroom entrance.
Harm shook his head snorting, holding back a full-fledged belly laugh. ‘That’s my Marine,’ he thought, still marveling at her toughness as he removed his sneakers. He then made his way to the kitchen in search of something for his swollen eye and throbbing head. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a bag of frozen peas and applied it to affected areas; then he made his way over to the cupboard in search of aspirin. He was still thinking about Mac and how his grandmother had to stop her from doing anything stupid as he made his way back into the living room. “How come nothing you just said surprises me?”
Grandma Sarah had a gleam in her eyes as she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because you know her so well, Harmon,” she stated matter-of-factly. And for the first time since Harm had left the apartment, she let her guard down and allowed her eyes to leave the entrance of Harm’s bedroom. She looked at her grandson and attempted to relax. “You know, dear, you two are like two peas in a pod when it comes to your behavior. You’re both troublemakers to no end and don’t know when to give up. Nor do you understand that no means just that – no!”
Harm couldn’t help but chuckle at his grandmother’s words, remembering how often he would get into trouble while visiting her at the farm. “Well then, I guess I left her in good hands,” Harm responded coyly, turning around for the first time - giving his grandmother a good look at his battered and bruised face as he removed the bag of frozen peas.
“Ouch,” was her immediate response. “Oh… wow, you got some pretty nice color going on there,” she joked, reaching out to brush a strand of hair off of his forehead.
The fact that she was unfazed by his black eye told Harm that she already knew about his confrontation with Mic. Harm raised his unaffected eyebrow and shot her a glance over the bag of peas he still held to his face. “Let me guess. You were the elderly woman who phoned the police, weren’t you?”
“Yes, guilty as charged,” she answered softly with a worried frown.
“How did you know I was in trouble?” Harm asked, getting a smile from his grandmother in response.
“Oh for Pete’s sake, Harmon, don’t be silly. You were never in trouble,” she immediately replied. “You could have dropped him on his butt in a matter of seconds. It was obvious that the guy was looking for trouble the minute I saw him approaching you and Renee. The police got here so quick after my phone call… they must have been in the neighborhood.” She then pointed the bat she was still holding at Harm’s face. “I’m afraid not soon enough, though.”
Harm narrowed his eyes in surprise. “Grams, you never cease to amaze me. I can’t believe you were spying on us,” he replied jokingly. “Shame on you! That is so not like you. You’re a bad girl,” he finished, shaking his finger at her as he spoke.
Grandma Sarah snorted and gave her grandson a huge grin. “That Marine of yours made it an order. She insisted I find out what was going on out there. Let me tell you, she is one feisty woman, that Sarah MacKenzie,” she told him sternly. “Seriously, Harm, Sarah was really worried about you and what was going on with Renee. She was afraid her being here had caused irreparable damage between the two of you.”
“There was no need for her to worry,” Harm replied, opening the fridge to put away the bag of frozen peas, hoping that there would be no additional swelling.
“Well then, you will have to tell her that, because quite frankly, she never believed me. I had all I could do to hold her back so that she wouldn’t kill herself following you out the bloody door. I finally had to resort to threatening her with violence.” She snickered.
“Now I understand why you were holding on to that bat for dear life.” Harm laughed. “You weren’t trying to keep anyone out… you were trying to keep the Marine in.”
“Yup. You got it,” Grams responded, laughing out loud.
Harm returned to the kitchen for a glass of water. “Did she know Mic showed up and joined Renee and I down there?” he inquired.
“So that WAS her ex-fiancé,” Grandma Sarah concluded with a sigh. “I wasn’t sure. I just assumed it was him - and… no she doesn’t know he was out there. The last thing she needs right now was to be even more upset. Can you imagine what she would have been like if she knew he was down there as well? I guess, though tragic, it’s a good thing that she has bandages over her eyes. I made the call to the police from here while she was in the bedroom. I kept my voice low when I spoke to the officer.”
“What did you end up telling her? I know how persistent Mac can be.”
“As little as possible. I told her that you and Renee were outside talking and that everything appeared to be under control and going well. You both were acting like civilized adults, and there was nothing to worry about. She wasn’t easily convinced, but when she didn’t hear any noise out there she finally acquiesced and believed me when I said that World War Three was not happening. That was when she became agreeable and let me help her adorable, exhausted self back to bed where she belonged.”
Harm turned quickly from his spot at the kitchen sink. “What? She was out of bed… again?”
Grandma Sarah chuckled and walked towards her grandson. She held up the baseball bat, shaking it in front of his face. “What… did you think I was playing baseball in here or carrying it around just for the fun of it? Boy, your Marine is a hot-headed one, I’ll give her that. She was about to march her half-naked, barefoot self down to the street without my help,” she said, grinning from ear to ear before getting serious again. “I may be an old fool, but if you ask me, I would say she loves you… and not the way you love a friend.”
Harm had been listening intently to his grandmother. Although, he did get side tracked on the half-naked, barefoot part of her comment - that was when he immediately conjured up images of a very pregnant, barefoot Sarah MacKenzie. He shook his head to clear the image, wondering where and what made that thought come to his mind.
“Grams, please,” Harm croaked, turning his back to her again as he put his half-empty glass into the kitchen sink. ‘If she only knew what I was thinking,’ he mused. ‘No doubt she would hit me with that bat for sure.’
Grandma Sarah placed the baseball bat onto the kitchen counter and placed her hand soothingly on his back. “Harm, don’t worry. I would never meddle into whatever is going on between the two of you. Just know one very important thing. That girl up there would give up anything and everything for you and your happiness – even if it meant giving up her own happiness in the process. You didn’t see what she was like when she was determined to go out there to explain everything to Renee. She kept repeating that it wasn’t fair for you to be hurt or in pain because of her, and that all she wanted was for you to be happy. I’ll tell you Harmon… it near broke my heart to see her like that.”
Harm inhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a second. “She actually said all that?” he asked in a whisper, keeping his back towards her. He was too emotionally distraught to face his grandmother. He didn’t want her to see his unshed tears while his hands firmly griped the counter.
“Oh, she said a lot of things, but she really didn’t have to say anything, Harm. Haven’t I always told you that actions speak louder than words? Her reaction painted the perfect picture as to her feelings. I’ll admit she tried very hard to hide them from you in front of me… just as you are hiding yours for her, I might add. But I didn’t just fall of the pumpkin cart. This old girl has been around long enough to know when someone is in love,” she finished with an acknowledging smile.
Before Harm had a chance to react, Grandma Sarah raised on her tiptoes to give her grandson a quick peck on his cheek. “You know I’m a die-hard romantic. You’ve certainly seen me watch my fair share of love stories and read enough romantic novels, that’s for sure. That is why I can say without hesitation that you and Sarah certainly have the kind of chemistry that emits unbelievable sparks, obvious to everyone except for the two of you. Harm, you and Sarah are not fiction… you are a true story. What you have is real, very real. All you have to do is reach for it and hold on for dear life. Not many people share what you two do, believe me. I was lucky enough to have had your grandfather… God rest his soul. We pretty much had what you and Sarah do, and I would not have traded my life with him for anything.” She was now misty eyed as she continued her point. “Promise me one thing… fight for your happiness, your happiness with her.” She sighed, pointing at the entrance of his bedroom before she spun around, turned off the light and made her way to the inflatable bed. “Good night, Harmon. Sleep well.”
“Good night, Grams,” Harm whispered back, deeply lost in his thoughts.
Harm stood there motionless for several minutes, letting the silence and darkness of the apartment cocoon him. His grandmother’s words were penetrating his mind, his heart and his soul. Were he and Mac finally on the same page? Could they really be the ‘us’ he had dreamed about for so long now? He couldn’t even remember when he hadn’t thought or dreamed about them being a whole. It was them… together as a typical family with two point five kids, a house on the outskirts of Washington surrounded by a white picket fence, a dog in the yard and a big old oak tree in front of the house providing shade.
He had often wondered, what held him back, preventing him from taking that final step to realizing his dream. Was it insecurity? Would Mac have the same feelings? Would his dream be her dream? Or was it fear? Fear that, should it not work, he would lose her friendship. The way things were now, he knew they would always be friends. But, should they become lovers, could they go back to just being friends if their ‘us’ wouldn’t work out? He treasured their friendship to the point where he would not jeopardize it for anything. He could not survive without having her in his life in some capacity, and he feared if they became intimate, they could never go back to being just friends.
The plain and simple answers to all his questions were not forthcoming. So he surrendered for the time being. What he did know was that his grandmother was right again. ‘Like always,’ he thought, chuckling to himself. So what was he going to do about it?
There were no significant others in their way. Both Renee and Mic were gone. But still, this was not the time. ‘Time,’ he thought. That was what they needed more of. Their friendship had been on a rocky road the past few months, and now was the time to rebuild it and get it back on solid ground. And she needed to heal, both physically and emotionally.
The immediate future would be difficult for Mac. Thanks to the explosion she nearly lost everything. She no longer had someplace to call home, no clothes to put on her back – other than what she had worn today. Her beloved Jingo was still unaccounted for, and on top of all that, she had bandages on her eyes as a result of the mishap – damage that could be permanent. But he swore that he would make her realize that she would not loose him – she would never loose him. He would help her in any and every way possible to rebuild her life. Hopefully then they would be able to build a relationship.
Harm rubbed the back of his neck as he walked away from the kitchen counter. He snuck his way slowly to the bedroom, smiling when he saw Mac lying on her side, facing his side of the bed while hugging his pillow. He wondered if the position she was in was her usual one or if she intentionally chose to face him while she slept. Moonlight filtered through the blinds, casting a soft glow over Mac’s sleeping form. His heart melted as he watched her cuddled up in his bed; a little smile adorned her face and she looked like an angel. What he wouldn’t give to have her there every night when he went to sleep and have her still there when he woke every morning.
He quickly made his way to the bathroom to get ready for the night. After brushing his teeth, he left the bathroom and stripped down to his boxer shorts. Harm gently climbed into bed beside Mac, trying his best not to wake her in the process. He turned on his side, facing her and smiled as he watched her sleep. Even with all the bandages, she was beautiful.
In sleep, she was not the tough, kick ass Marine everyone was used to seeing. The protective walls she spent years erecting around her were non-existent. Her body twitched from time to time as if she was near waking, but the steady rise and fall of her chest told him that she was sound asleep. He gently brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen over her forehead before he nimbly let his fingertips slowly run over her rosy cheek, getting a little sigh in response. “You are my happiness, Sarah,” he whispered into her hair as he rested his head on top of hers for a moment. “Goodnight, Sarah,” he said in a sigh, placing a soft kiss onto her forehead before relaxing to let sleep overcome him.
*
Sunday
May 13, 2001
Harm’s Apartment Building
North of Union Station
2:46 AM
Smoke! There was smoke everywhere. He couldn’t see or breathe. He quickly fell to his knees, gasping for air as the acrid smoke stung his eyes. He frantically searched for Mac amongst the soot and cinders, but he just couldn’t find her.
He was becoming frenzied. Where was she, damn it? She should be right here – next to him. Just a mere second ago he’d seen her lying there, so she should still be in this vicinity. But he simply couldn’t find her no matter how hard he tried. It was as if the ground opened up and swallowed her.
“MAC!” Harm shouted, getting no answer. The only noise he heard was the crackling and hissing of the blazing fire.
He was totally panic stricken and attempted to take a deep breath in order to calm himself, only to come up wheezing and coughing. His lungs felt as though they were ready to burst. He was becoming dizzy, but he needed to stay conscious. He had to find her. “Keep it together, Rabb. You have to stay awake!” Harm ordered himself. “You have to find her and get her out of here.” He didn’t have to remind himself of that because there was no way in hell he would ever leave her behind.
“Hold on, Mac. I’ll find you,” he murmured hoarsely. “I promise I’ll find you.”
“Or die trying.”
Harm could hear Mac’s soft voice clearly, whispering those words to him just like she had in Russia when they were searching for his father. His head snapped up and he smiled when he saw her standing right in front of him with a worried expression on her face. She appeared to be unharmed and as beautiful as ever. ‘Thank God,’ he thought.
“Or die trying,” Harm repeated, coughing as he reached out for her, grabbing nothing but air.
“NO!” Harm screamed as she slowly and steadily vanished behind the wall of flames and smoke that surrounded him. He looked around desperately, but she had disappeared.
‘I must be hallucinating,’ he thought to himself.
“MAC!” he cried, totally frustrated as the tears streamed down his dirty face. This can’t be happening. ‘Where the hell is she?’
Harm stayed low while creeping on his knees, waving his arms in front of him as he searched. It was becoming more and more difficult to see and breath as the smoke became more intense. ‘This is a living hell,’ he thought to himself as another fit of coughing overcame him. Suddenly the flames where licking at his shirt. Quickly he crawled away, ridding himself of his shirt before damage was done to his skin.
“MAC!” he tried yet again – still no response. That’s when his right hand came in contact with something on the floor. “Oh my God, Mac,” Harm croaked as he took her lifeless body into his arms.
“Mac, honey, please say something,” he begged, frantically trying to find her pulse. “Sarah,” he now yelled as loud as his vocal cords would let him. “Wake up. Come on! You have to wake up. Please,” he cried into her chest.
Nothing.
“Damn it, Mac!”
When Harm couldn’t find a pulse, he slapped her face three times, trying to get her to respond. “Come on, damn it! Fight, Marine!” he ordered, but still nothing happened. “You have to fight!” he continued to cradle her lifeless body against his bare chest, using his own body to shield her from the onslaught of flames.
He shook her and slapped her face again, but she was still not responding. His hand went to her neck to check her pulse there. All the while thinking, ‘there simply had to be one.’
Still nothing.
“NOOOOOOOO!” Harm screamed horrified before everything turned black.
*
His scream was so gut wrenching it jerked him out of his disturbed slumber. He quickly bolted upright, wearily rubbing his tired eyes with the palms of his hands. His heart was pounding like a jackhammer, while beads of sweat trickled down his neck and over his bare back. He inhaled deeply, attempting to get himself back under control even though he was totally disoriented and physically drained.
He peered around the darkened room scantily illuminated by the glow from the moon, looking for something familiar. Once he was able to identify his naval uniform hung over the closet door, he was able to relax a little, realizing that he was in his apartment – in his bed with his legs completely entangled in the blanket. A quick glance at his alarm clock told him he had only been asleep for three hours.
Harm ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head. It was just a dream, a horrible nightmare, yet it seemed so real… a little too real for his liking. He could still smell the smoke, taste the ashes, feel the scorching heat of the raging flames, and hear the crackling of the blazing fire that had engulfed him. ‘Oh God, Mac,’ he thought, shivering violently as all the vivid pictures of his dream once again assaulted him.
“You okay?” Mac asked softly. The sound of her voice jolted Harm out of his reverie and he quickly snapped his head around to meet the voice.
Suddenly he became aware of Mac sitting right beside him, slowly letting her unhurt hand run gently over his back in a soothing manner. Harm sighed in relief as he finally started to gain control over his panicked emotions. “Yeah, I’m okay. Don’t worry,” he stated shakily. Mac knew from his tone that he was still upset. “Go back to sleep, Mac. It’s still early and you need all the rest you can get. Seriously, there is no need for both of us to be awake.”
Harm felt bad after uttering his last words. They had come out louder and little harsher than he intended them to be. He just didn’t want her losing sleep and even more than that, he didn’t want her worrying about him. She already had enough on her plate.
“I’m sorry, Mac, I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face and around his neck.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about me, Harm. I’m not the one who just had a nightmare. I tried to wake you. I shook you, but you just wouldn’t wake up. Do you want to talk about it? You were calling my name. I think that actually is what woke me up,” Mac explained softly while she continued to rub her hand over his back.
Mac could tell that her ministrations were slowly but surely calming him down. ‘Thank God,’ she thought, feeling a little more at ease as he started to relax. He had frightened her terribly with his loud screaming and thrashing around. It was obvious that his grandmother was a sound sleeper, seeing as how the screaming never woke her up. ‘Well at least she can get some sleep without worrying about him,’ Mac thought.
Harm took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second, attempting to calm his nerves and get himself under control for Mac’s sake. He really didn’t want her to worry. In most cases, as soon as Mac’s fingertips touched his heated skin he would have surrendered. However, in this case the effort was futile. The sights, sounds, and smells of his dream had been too real. “I… I saw the building explode and you… you were thrown through the air like a rag doll,” Harm whispered tentatively.
The sound of his voice was upsetting to Mac and even though she couldn’t see him, she knew he had been badly shaken and remained terribly disturbed. Without interrupting him, she untangled herself from the blanket they shared and instinctively moved behind him on the bed. She placed her legs on either side of him, so that Harm was now sitting in between them.
In this position, she could embrace him from behind, coaxing him to lie back against her so that his head was below her chin resting on her breasts. He sighed, letting himself go willingly into her warm arms, absorbing the strength she radiated.
Mac placed her plastered hand gently on Harm’s chest and then placed the other one carefully on top of it, pulling him closer to her. She didn’t have to say anything. He knew she was there with him… for him. He could let it all go… let it all out. If he fell apart, she would be there to catch him.
Mac moved her head so that it was now pillowed against the side of his head, her mouth resting against his right shoulder, which she kissed softly. He placed his hand on top of hers, letting his fingers caress the back of her hand. “I thought I knew where you had landed,” he continued quietly. “I would have put my money on it… but when I got to that spot, I couldn’t find you… you weren’t there. I was on my knees, crawling around looking for you and screaming your name, but all I found was an inferno of smoke, soot, debris, and flames.”
“Oh, Harm,” Mac sighed, wrapping her arms even tighter around him, bringing him so close she could hardly breathe from his weight against her chest. Her nose pressed firmly against his earlobe. “It was just a bad dream,” she cooed into his ear.
“I had to find you, Mac. I wouldn’t give up until I got us both out of there,” Harm continued, his voice becoming barely a whisper. “The flames… they were getting closer and closer. Time was running out for me. I… I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see anything – all the smoke… it surrounded me.” Harm’s voice broke as a tear fell from his eye, streaking down his cheek. ‘Get a grip,’ he ordered himself as he angrily swiped at the tear quickly.
“It’s okay, Harm,” Mac told him softly, hearing the anguish in his voice. “Everything is okay. It was just a terrible nightmare. I’m here… you’re here… and we are both fine.”
Mac wanted nothing more than to tear off her bandages and look into his beautiful eyes, but she feared that if she took the bandages off and still couldn’t see, she would upset him all the more.
“I lost you, Mac,” he whispered, not hearing a single word she’d just said. “When I finally found you, it was too late. You were dead. I lost you, Mac. I lost you,” Harm repeated over and over. “I lost you.”
“No, Harm.” Mac intensified her embrace. Her breath was warm on his neck as she whispered into his ear. “No. I told you that you would never lose me! Remember. No matter what, you will never lose me.”
Harm nodded his head, remembering her every word that night and so much more.
Mac broke her embrace enough to move a bit backwards. She blindly reached behind her with her unhurt arm to take one of the pillows she had used earlier. She placed it right beside her and then slowly lay down on her back, taking Harm with her still cradling him in her arms.
“Mac, no! Please… I’ll hurt you,” he protested, trying to release himself from her embrace, knowing that his weight would create even more pain to her back. However, he was too tired to earnestly resist and followed her down willingly.
He gently pillowed his head on her chest, right above her heart. At the moment, he needed her close - like a thirsty man needs water. He wanted to confirm the fact that she was indeed alive and not in danger of being burned to death. Her nearness and the steady rhythm of her heart beneath his head soothed him, allowing him to let go of the fear that his weight might hurt her. He sighed contentedly and totally relaxed in her comforting embrace.
“Are you sure I’m not hurting you?” he asked again.
“I told you I’m fine, Harm. You don’t have to worry about me,” she softly replied. “Just try to get some sleep,” she told him quietly, placing a kiss onto his head. “If you get to heavy, I’ll let you know. Okay?”
“'kay,” Harm murmured and it was obvious to Mac that he was already half asleep. She smiled when he snuggled closer to her. Slowly he maneuvered his leg so that it was now in between hers and he moved his head so that it was resting on her shoulder. His face was buried in her neck where he inhaled her sweet, unmistakable scent as he nuzzled her ear with his nose. “You smell beautiful, Sarah,” he whispered against her skin.
Mac was surprised at his words and wondered if he was awake enough to know exactly what he was doing and saying. Harm’s warm breath on her neck was tickling her, and her entire body quivered in response. Whether or not Harm had fallen asleep was moot because he was now wide-awake and in protective mode.
He immediately moved up and propped himself on one elbow so that he could look down at her. “Are you cold?” Harm asked worriedly, quickly turning to get the blanket from the end of the bed.
“No,” Mac said, shaking her head. She had to admit, if only to herself, that she immediately felt chilled when he left her arms. She craved to have the warmth of his body beside her again.
Harm pulled the covers up over them and then snuggled back into Mac’s waiting arms. His nose again found that wonderful spot on her neck where he could inhale her sweetness. “Mac?” he murmured against the sensitive skin below her ear.
“Hmmmm,” she replied distractedly. Her senses were in over-drive as her nose was buried deep in his hair, enjoying the scent of his shampoo while her hands were deriving pleasure being on his magnificent body. Mac felt like she was in heaven and all her dreams had come true. Being this close to him was… well words couldn’t even begin to describe what it felt like. ‘At last!’ she thought. Their friendship was on the right track - heading in the same direction. ‘I missed you, Harm,’ Mac declared to herself. “God, how I missed you,” she said so softly that he couldn’t hear her words.
She finally had the strength to admit to herself that she had missed him terribly.
She missed their dynamic working relationship - the times they would spend together, working on cases and sharing a pizza. She missed being able to knock on his door and have him happy to see her and invite her in. She missed their playful bantering both in and out of work. She missed the way he would casually put his arm around the back of the couch and slowly let it drift down until it was loosely touching her shoulder while they were watching a movie, letting her know it was okay for her to rest her head on his shoulder. She missed the way he looked when he chewed on the edge of a coffee stirrer when he was deep in thought. She missed the way he would always get a cup of coffee for her when he got one for himself. She missed the male scent he exuded that was uniquely him. She just plain missed… him.
She now knew why all her prior relationships failed. Subconsciously she would compare all her boyfriends to Harm, but none of them could even come close. Mac shook her head lightly. She couldn’t believe that all these thoughts and emotions were running rampant in her head right now. These feelings scared the hell out of her, especially since she had no right to feel this way.
She remembered what she had told him on the Admiral’s porch the night of her engagement party – right after she had gone weak in the knees from sharing the most passionate kiss of her entire life. She told him that they were getting too good at saying goodbye. It had made her sad because she knew that was exactly what it was… goodbye. Goodbye to a future that they would never share; goodbye to the children that they would never have; goodbye to a life time of love, sharing and growing old together. Mac chuckled as she thought how she really believed that she could walk away… away from the one and only person who ever really mattered to her; the one and only person who ever really cared about her; the one and only person who would ever have her heart; the one and only person who could make her happy.
It wasn’t until later that evening when she was alone with Mic that she realized how much she had lied to herself, to Mic, to Harm and to all their friends - and just how much she had just given up.
When they had stood there listening to the Admiral’s speech and the backs of their hands had lightly touched, it was as a bolt of lightning had ripped through her body that curled her toes. She had to remind herself to breath. It was so unlike the reaction she had gotten from Mic’s touch, which was a shiver of revulsion. She knew that very night, when she couldn’t respond to his kisses, that a life with him would never work. The reality was that Mic had always been a substitute for the person she really wanted.
Regardless, she had no right to feel this way. Harm had a girlfriend… a girlfriend who just caught them in a compromising position in his bed. ‘What the hell am I doing?’ she mused.
He rubbed his forehead against hers and then unconsciously ran his hands up and down her arm. His warm, sensuous touch banished all her lucid thoughts. All she cared about was this moment, the here and now with him - and God help her… she was going to take advantage and live in this one wonderful moment.
She was scared. She was totally dependent on him right now. Her life, her very existence, was in his hands and it petrified her. She hated not being in charge - being so totally out of control. She didn’t want to jeopardize their relationship. Their friendship was too important to her and she did not want to mess it up. She knew she wanted more than just friendship from Harm, but that was not possible and she would just have to accept it.
He still hadn’t said a word about Renee and what had transpired between them. She definitely wanted to know, but was afraid to ask. The last thing she wanted to hear right now was that they had talked, and everything was okay between them. She didn’t want to hear that Renee understood why Mac was there, and she would return soon in all her overdone, bleach blonde hair, overly made up face and bright red fake fingernails glory and want to play nursemaid. ‘Oh no… I don’t think so.’ She fumed.
Mac’s head was throbbing from the pain caused by the explosion and spinning from all the mixed signals Harm was sending her way. When she touched him and held him in her arms, he had responded to her touch… HER touch. And oh… how he touched her. ‘Or was he just being a man?’ she queried. At the moment, she was terribly sore, extremely tired, and definitely not thinking straight.
“Aren’t I supposed to be taking care of you instead of you taking care of me?” he asked chuckling, bringing Mac out of her errant thoughts. “At least I think that was my original plan.”
Mac laughed, letting her hand gently run through his hair. Harm responded with a soft sigh. “We’re taking care of each other,” Mac said softly as her hand wandered down to his cheek, caressing it gently. “That’s what…,” she stopped not only her words, but also her ministrations.
*
Harm knew he had been found out by Mac’s reaction. ‘Dammit.’ He scolded himself for letting it happen. He should have been more careful, kept a little more distance, or stopped her hand from wandering so much… too late now. He had been unsuccessful at choking back the flinch when she traced the cut under his eye.
“…what friends do,” Mac finished her sentence, quickly moving away from Harm to sit up on her knees. Her sudden movement sent a sharp jolt of pain through her entire body and head, causing her to hiss and then groan out loud.
Harm immediately sat up to turn on his nightstand lamp so he could take a closer look at her. She was awfully pale and her teeth were clenched, indicating how much the movement had hurt her. “You okay?” he asked, concerned as he placed his hand on her shoulder comfortingly. “Do you need something for the pain? I knew I should not have given in to you. I should have stayed away from you. The last thing you needed right now was to have my heavy body on top of yours. Let me go get you some Ibuprofen.”
Harm knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t stop himself. He was mad and blamed himself for her being in more pain right now - and he wasn’t just thinking about her physical pain. It was the emotional pain from discovering the cut under his eye as well. She was so upset about it that she had forgotten all about herself. How could he forgive himself for this?
He was jumping off the bed to get her Ibuprofen, when Mac reached out with her unhurt arm to hold him back. Since she couldn’t see him, she had to guess where he was in proximity to her. So she reached and grabbed onto the first thing her hand came into contact with – in this case it was his boxer briefs.
“Woah!” Harm yelped, as his boxers were being pulled halfway down on his butt. Mac, upon realizing what she had grabbed, let go quickly and caused the waistband to noisily slap against his bare bottom.
“Oops,” Mac giggled loudly. “Damn, how I wish I could see right now. I bet the view of that cute six of yours was magnificent.” She barely finished talking before she started to laugh hysterically, holding on to her side. “Phew… I… I need to catch my breath,” she squealed before inhaling deeply to calm herself. Once she had regained control, she was able to continue talking. “I really don’t need anything for the pain, Harm. What I do need is for you to tell me exactly how you got that cut under your eye. What the hell happened out there?” Mac wanted to know.
“Nothing,” Harm quickly answered and looked away. Even though Mac’s eyes were bandaged, Harm could feel the glare she threw at him.
“Nothing my ass, Harmon Rabb,” Mac answered sternly. “I may not be able to see a damn thing, but I know what my fingers just felt.”
Harm was surprised by Mac’s outburst, and when he looked into her face, he could see the anger in her expression. “Mac…,” he tried to calm her down, but the lawyer in her was on a mission and he had a feeling he knew where and to whom it would lead.
Mac flailed her arm in the air. “Don’t Mac me. Let’s play this out shall we. If you got the injury from the explosion at my apartment, I’m sure I would have known about it by now. So we can throw that scenario out. You are not the clumsy type, so I don’t think it had anything to do with the common ‘I walked into a door explanation’,” she snorted, putting an end to her summation.
“No,” Harm quietly replied, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Uh… uh… thought so,” Mac murmured more to herself than to him. “I have no idea what transpired between you and Renee while you were outside, but even though she was extremely angry, I sincerely doubt she would go that far,” Mac concluded.
Harm sighed in resignation, knowing that she had definitely figured it out. “No, she didn’t hit me, even though I deserved it,” he confessed.
“So, I guess my next question is… did you go to him… or did he come to you?” Mac asked, knowing damn well that her ex-fiancé was the one responsible for Harm’s injury. Mac jumped right back in before Harm was even able to open his mouth. “I know you were beyond angry when you discovered the bruise on my back in the hospital and that Mic was responsible for it. But I know you, Harm, and you are definitely not the type to throw the first punch or any punch for that matter.”
Harm laughed at her words and was pleased that she had so much confidence in him.
“What’s so funny?” Mac asked, not understanding his reaction.
“Oh, you couldn’t be more wrong, Mac. Believe it or not, that was exactly what I wanted to do when I saw him in the hospital parking lot.”
“Woah, what are you saying… the hospital parking lot? You mean he was there?” Mac was bewildered and totally surprised by Harm’s confession. She would have sworn that Mic had already left the country by then. Harm’s black eye was proof that he was still here, but she would not have expected him to be at the hospital. She suddenly froze fearfully. “Please don’t tell me you two duked it out at the hospital. Harm, the hospital is a military base!” she shrieked.
“Yeah, I know, Harriet said the same thing,” Harm said chuckling. “I swear, Mac, if the Roberts hadn’t been there, I would not have given a damn and decked him.”
“So you two didn’t?” Mac asked in a whisper, fearing the worst.
“No, Mac. Harriet and Bud stepped between us, preventing me from nailing him.”
“Oh, Harm, thank God,” Mac breathed, becoming very emotional. He could sense how guilty she felt about his encounter with her ex-fiancé.
Even with the bandages over her eyes, a single teardrop slowly made its way down her cheek and upon seeing it, Harm scooted closer to her, gently wiping it away with his thumb just the way he had done so many times in the past. “Hey… hey, Marine. Everything is okay, really,” he told her, placing a soft kiss onto her forehead. “But there’s something I have to tell you.”
“What?”
Harm inhaled deeply. “I’m really sorry, Mac, but when I saw him there, I totally lost it. I could see your bruise in my mind, and all I wanted to do was beat the living hell out of him and… I… Mac, Harriet and Bud know about your fight with Mic and that you two are no longer engaged.”
Mac sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s okay, Harm. Sooner or later they would have found out anyway.”
“Yeah, probably,” Harm agreed. Then he started to laugh. “You should have seen Harriet. After stopping me from putting his lights out, she waited until Bud and I were otherwise occupied and then stepped on his foot. I must admit, those high heel shoes you girls insist on wearing are lethal weapons. I’ve never seen a dancing kangaroo before.”
“Ouch,” Mac replied, chuckling as well at Harm’s choice of words before she got serious again. “Harm, he… he didn’t…”
“No, Mac. He didn’t do anything to her,” Harm immediately clarified and wondered deep down if her assumption meant that the bruise she got from her ex-fiancé a few nights ago wasn’t the first one. “When he realized the Admiral was there and had seen and heard everything, he considered addressing her behavior. But before he even opened his mouth the Admiral let Mic know in no uncertain terms that he knew the reason for Harriet’s reaction.”
Mac took a deep breath. “So the Admiral knows now, too,” she concluded sadly.
“Yeah. I’m really sorry, Mac.”
“No, it’s okay, Harm. Really,” she said, nipping on her lower lip. “So… if you didn’t get the bruise then, when did it happen?”
Harm took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “He was here, Mac.”
Mac was shocked. “When?” she breathed, fear gripping her hard. Had he been here in this apartment while she was sleeping off the effect of the drugs? Was her being here, in Harm’s bedroom - in Harm’s bed - the reason for his losing it and stirring up the fight? Was it her fault? ‘What a stupid question,’ she chided herself. ‘Of course it’s my fault.’ The fact that she was unable to see was troubling enough, but not being able to see how badly Harm was injured was killing her.
“Earlier… when Renee and I talked outside on the parking lot. He was drunk and obviously provoking a fight.”
“How bad was it?”
“Don’t worry, Mac.”
“How bad, Harm?” Mac asked again and Harm could hear the fear resonating in her voice.
“There’s no need to worry, okay? We didn’t fight. I told him that I wouldn’t go there. I allowed him this one punch before I overpowered him. Since he was drunk, it wasn’t a big deal.” He didn’t dare tell her that his eye was totally black and blue and had been half shut until he applied the bag of peas to reduce the swelling.
“Thank God,” Mac said, feeling relieved. “Where is he now?”
Harm sighed, knowing that he couldn’t hold back any information from her. “He’s in protective custody for the night and will leave the states by tomorrow. Grams obviously saw him approaching Renee and I and got the feeling that he could mean trouble. That’s why she called the police.”
Mac nodded her head unable to find any words.
“I’m really sorry, Mac,” Harm whispered, once again drying the tears that escaped under her bandages.
“No, Harm,” she croaked. “It’s me who’s sorry. It should never have come to this and it is entirely my fault. I’m so sorry you got into this whole mess. I had no right to drag you into it.”
“I’m not sorry and you had every right, Mac,” Harm answered softly, taking her head into his palms and rubbing his thumbs gently over her cheeks. “I just wish I could take away your pain. Mac, this wasn’t your fault, okay? He’s a mad man and not worth the dirt off your shoes.”
Mac sniffed and nodded her head.
Harm closed his eyes, dreading the next question he was about to ask. He had to know the truth. “Mac? Did he ever…,” he started to ask, but was immediately cut off by Mac’s hand to his mouth. She had found his mouth easily because he was so close she could feel his breath on her face when he spoke.
“No, he never hit or hurt me before. I’m being totally honest with you, Harm,” she explained eagerly, knowing how much knowing the truth meant to him. Mac then placed her right hand on top of his and turned her head a little so that her lips were in contact with the palm of his hand. “Honestly.”
Harm sighed wearily as relief flowed through his entire body, giving her a peck on her forehead. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, Mac,” he whispered against her soft, warm skin. “Now what do you say to us trying to get some more sleep? It has been an extremely long day for both of us and we are totally exhausted. Some decent sleep will do us wonders and by tomorrow things will look differently, okay?”
“Promise?”
Harm chuckled. “I promise.”
“'kay,” Mac murmured tiredly, but Harm wasn’t quite convinced that she was just tired. He wondered if there wasn’t more behind her suddenly pensive mood.
Carefully, he helped her lie down on her side. As much as he craved to be in her arms or even better still to hold her in his, he knew she was very sore and it wasn’t a good idea. Harm’s heart fell when Mac decided to lay with her back facing him, but he didn’t question it.
After placing several pillows behind her back for support, he laid down with a sigh. “Good night, Mac,” he whispered into the silent room, deciding to roll onto his side as well so that he could look at her.
“Good night, Harm. Sweet dreams,” she murmured and Harm knew she was almost asleep again.
Though her back was to him, she took her good arm out from under the blanket and reached behind her in search of Harm. When he saw her reach over, he entwined his fingers with hers. They didn’t say a word… they didn’t have to.
He felt relieved. He finally allowed his own body to shut down and it only took a few seconds for him to fall asleep.
*
To Harm, it seemed as if it were just a few minutes later when a quiet, heartbreaking noise brought him out of his slumber. It took him a mere second to realize that it was coming from Mac. He quickly opened his eyes and with the help of the moonlight that filtered through the blinds, casting a soft glow over Mac’s form, he could see her body shaking. She was crying. Though she tried her best to suppress her emotions, she couldn’t - so she lay there crying quietly. Harm’s senses were in overdrive so he was alert to even her smallest whimper. He was worried.
“Sarah,” he whispered, taking the pillows between them away, scooting closer to her so he was able to take her gently into his arms without hurting her in the process. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Jingo,” was all she was able to choke out in between her heartbreaking sobs. Her pain clutched and clawed at his heart, as she openly cried. He knew how much she loved that slobbery, old dog and how much comfort and love Jingo gave her in return. His was just another name on the long list, who were just a little bit in love with Sarah Mackenzie.
Harm continued to hold her, unable to stop his own tears from falling while he placed a soft, tender kiss on her neck. He knew she would break down at some point, but he didn’t know what would trigger it. Mac personified strength. She did not like to show weakness. She always considered herself a Marine first and a woman second. Right now, the Marine was nowhere to be found, but the woman in her was in his arms and letting it all out.
“Everything will be okay, Mac,” he promised. “You’ll see.” He swallowed hard, knowing that he had just made a promise that in all likelihood, he would not be able to keep. He couldn’t stop himself. She needed to be comforted. “Somehow, everything will be okay,” he repeated.
He again kissed her forehead comfortingly and just held her, letting her know that he was there for her. Mac continued to cry and fell into an exhausted sleep. It wasn’t until Harm was sure she was once again asleep that he allowed himself to close his eyes and follow her.
*
May 13, 2001
8:17 AM
Even though he was more asleep than awake, he knew it was time to welcome the new day. Through closed eyelids, he could feel the warm rays of the morning sun as it streamed through the open curtains, leaving his skin tingling. He wasn’t, however, planning on moving any time soon, not while the body of the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on was temptingly curled up right next to him. He could feel her skin’s smooth silkiness under his fingertips and smell the heavenly scent of vanilla from her hair that was right under his nose.
With a contented sigh, he buried his nose deeper into the sweet scent while he pulled her even closer into his arms, absorbing her warmth. ‘Just a few more minutes,’ he told himself as his fingertips began drawing tiny circles, and he settled back in to sleep. ‘Yeah, just a few more minutes.’
A sudden rumble filtered through the otherwise silent room and brought him out of his slumber. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking them against the bright sunshine that welcomed him. It took him a minute to focus and then was once again relishing the sweet vanilla scent and the warmth she radiated. He was immediately enlightened to the source of the rumble. He chuckled happily thinking, ‘what an absolutely perfect way to wake up.’
“I think I’m hungry,” Mac murmured quietly into her pillow, letting him know that she was awake as well.
She had actually been awake for more than an hour, lying there motionless, savoring the amazing feeling of being in Harm’s strong arms. The incredible sensation of his fingertips drawing circles over her belly is what actually woke her. She wondered if he realized that his hand was under her shirt, on her bare skin, touching her so intimately that her heart was jumping and her toes curling.
At first, she was petrified when her inner clock told her it was morning, yet she was still shrouded in darkness. It took her several seconds to remember what had happened and why there was no light. She had to fight for self-control against her tears. Her valiant effort was in vain as she succumbed. Tears for her beloved Jingo and what - if anything was left of her old life.
Harm sensed her inner turmoil as he always had and immediately reacted by intensifying his hold on her. She thought he was awake until she heard his little snores, telling her he was still asleep. At first, his soft touch was relaxing, until she realized that wonderful feeling was coming from his hand being on her bare tummy. His touch was extremely arousing and it was bringing her feelings for him to the surface, feelings that she shouldn’t be having… not with him… they were friends… good friends… just friends.
Mac knew she should stop him instead of enjoying the feel of his fingertips on her heated skin. Her conscience was at war. The righteous side telling her it was a mistake and to stop him immediately, while the irrational side continued to enjoy the feelings he was stirring in her. In the end the devil won out and she joined in, placing her unhurt hand over Harm’s bare arm, playing with the tiny hairs there.
“I’m very glad to hear that,” Harm said, quickly bringing Mac out of her thoughts as he placed a tiny kiss onto her neck. He propped himself up on to his elbow so that he could look down and at her face, sincerely wishing that her sparkling chocolate brown eyes could greet him. He missed them terribly and hoped this nightmare would soon be over.
Mac felt the bed shift and knew that Harm had changed his position. Slowly and carefully, she turned to lie on her back. Her move made Harm embarrassingly aware of exactly where his left hand was and what he was doing. He murmured a quiet ‘sorry’ and started to pull his hand away only to be stopped by Mac’s hand gripping his arm. “No, please,” she offered. “Can we stay just like this a little while longer? It feels so nice… so safe.”
He flashed his infamous flyboy grin and Mac knew it even though she could see it. “Of course, my pleasure,” Harm whispered delicately against her forehead while continuing his soft caress.
They stayed that way for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of being so close in the peacefully quiet room. Words were neither needed nor necessary. Unfortunately they were brought back to reality by the loud rumbling of Mac’s stomach once again. Harm chuckled. “Okay, Marine, I think it’s time to get something into that stomach of yours.”
It was Mac’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, I think that is an excellent idea, Flyboy. You better feed me before I starve to death!”
Hearing those words come out of her mouth made Harm extremely happy. ‘Finally,’ he thought relieved that she was finally hungry. When she refused the soup he had bought for her to eat the previous day, he became extremely worried. She was not one to ever refuse food. He often wondered how she could look like that… so beautifully sexy when she ate like a truck driver. The fact that she was now hungry made him feel that her physical healing had begun and hopefully her emotional wellness was soon to follow.
“Well, we
certainly can’t have that happen now, can we? I’ll tell you what, why don’t you
stay in bed a little longer while I get us some bagels from the bakery? Maybe
they even have some of those chocolate croissants you like so much. How does
that sound?”
Mac gave him one of her infectious smiles. “Delicious. But if you don’t get a move on, I will be one cranky Marine,” she warned playfully.
Harm laughed wholeheartedly. Yeah, his Marine was definitely back. “Aye aye, Ma’am,” he saluted gleefully, and after another quick kiss on her forehead he jumped out of bed to wash and dress for the day.
Mac sighed, snuggling deeper into their shared blanket. She could still feel Harm’s warmth from his side of the bed and she could smell his unique scent, making her smile. She thought of all the tiny kisses he’d given her the past few days. Were they given intentionally, or had he done them unconsciously? She didn’t know for sure and chose not to read too much into it - but she definitely enjoyed it.
*
With his hair still damp from the shower, Harm pulled his hooded Navy sweatshirt over his head and quietly walked out of his bedroom. He smiled when he saw his grandmother on the couch with her head buried in the Sunday papers. “Good morning, Grams,” he softly greeted her, walking over to give her a peck on the cheek. “I see you’re still the early bird who likes to get up with the chickens. How did you sleep?”
“I slept like a baby. Thank you,” Grandma Sarah replied, giving him a bright smile. She patted the couch next to her, motioning for him to sit down. “Good morning, darling. I thought you two were going to sleep all day. How was your night?” She had waited long enough. “Come, let me look at you, child,” she told him, taking his face into her hands and turning it towards her. “Hmmm…,” she uttered.
Harm raised one of his eyebrows carefully. “What?” he asked chuckling. “What does that look mean?”
Grams shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, still staring at him intensely. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as happy as you look right at this moment, but with that happiness I see weariness. It was a rough night, wasn’t it?”
Harm gave her an acknowledging nod and rubbed his hands tiredly over his face. He winced the minute his fingers came in contact with the cut under his eye. “Yeah, we both had rather emotional moments last night,” he explained shrugging. “But I think it did us both good to let it all out. Hopefully, the worst is over.”
Grandma Sarah gave his knee an affectionate pat. “As long as you two are together in this, I’m sure everything will work out.”
Harm gave her a huge grin, taking a quick glance at the entrance to his bedroom. “Yeah, I think you’re right.” He then turned his gaze back to his grandmother. “I promised Mac to go get us some bagels and croissants for breakfast. Is there anything you would like me to get for you from the grocery store?”
“No, dear, I’m sure whatever you decide to get us will be just fine. While you’re gone, I’m sure Mac and I can take care of the coffee and whatever else we can come up with. She’s awake, isn’t she?”
“A bit of warning,” Harm offered chuckling. “You might want to take care of the coffee, Grams. Mac likes Marine grade coffee which translates into sludge… you know… the type that grows hair on your chest,” he joked.
“Yes, she is awake,” Mac replied softly from the bedroom entrance. “And I heard that, Flyboy. You better watch yourself,” she concluded, pointing her finger in the direction his voice was coming from. “Good morning, Grams.”
Harm and his grandmother quickly turned their gazes to where Mac’s voice came from. “Stubborn Marines,” Grandma Sarah mumbled under her breath as she watched the half-naked Mac attempting to find the next step with her bare foot. “Good morning, Sarah,” she added louder.
Harm laughed at his grandmother’s first comment, quickly standing up to extend his arm for Mac to hold on to as he helped Mac down the stairs. “Marine, who told you that you could get out of bed?” he asked, trying his best to sound stern but failing.
As much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn’t wrap her in a bubble to protect her. He had to let her have her independence. After his own accident when he couldn’t use his eyes, one of the things he remembered hating the most was having everyone around him coddle him. He knew they were trying to help, but truthfully speaking, it was the worst thing they could possibly do. He needed to deal with the crises and overcome his handicap as best he could. He needed to learn his surroundings and adapt to getting around on his own. Harm promised himself not to make that mistake with Mac. He would encourage her independence, but he would be their right beside her if she needed him… of that he was certain.
“I did!” Mac answered mischievously with a grin from ear to ear. Harm knew that if he could see her eyes behind the bandages, they would be twinkling. “I got the feeling that I was missing out on a party down here,” she added jokingly, carefully folding her arms in front of her chest. “But even more important than that…Why are you still here, Sailor? Starving Marine here, remember? And if she isn’t fed very, very soon I can promise you it won’t be pretty!”
Harm raised his hands in surrender, laughing. “Okay, okay. I give up. A man knows when it’s time to make a quick retreat,” he replied, placing yet another soft kiss on Mac’s forehead. “I won’t be long. Be nice, girls!”
Quickly, he got his keys and wallet from the bookshelf before leaving the apartment with a skip in his step to match the bright, contented grin on his face.
When the door shut behind him, Grandma Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “Come on, Sarah. Why don’t we take care of the dishes and the coffee?” She placed her hand on Mac’s left upper arm, guiding her to the kitchen.
Mac slowly and methodically followed Harm’s grandmother’s steps into the kitchen, nibbling on her lower lip the entire time. “Ummm… I’m not so sure this is a very good idea, Grams,” Mac replied uncertainly, her voice a mere whisper.
“Are you talking about the whole coffee thing, dear?” Grams asked chuckling. “Not to worry… I’ll make the coffee.”
“Oh, I don’t care about that. I know Harm doesn’t like my coffee, but he drinks it anyway. He just adds a ton of cream and sugar,” Mac concluded, smiling at the thought of the number of times Harm cussed and cursed her damn Marine brew. “I was talking about my ability to do anything without totally destroying it.”
“Well then, we will just have to see what we can give you to do that won’t be dangerous,” Grandma Sarah replied with a grin, letting Mac know that this particular conversation was over and done with. “And while we’re at it… how does some scrambled eggs and cheese sound for you?”
“Yummy,” Mac answered laughing.
“Thought so. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to add bacon to it. If I know my grandson, that is the last thing he would have in his fridge,” Grandma Sarah added with a dramatic sigh.
“Yeah, amen to that. You definitely have a point there, Grams. God forbid he should have something in there that was once walking around on four legs squealing,” Mac answered dryly before they fell into each other’s arms laughing hysterically.
*
Harm was whistling Anchors Aweigh as he made his way out of the elevator. He juggled the bag of warm bagels and croissants in one hand while he dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door to his apartment with the other.
“Honey, I’m…” he called playfully as he entered the apartment, abruptly stopping in his tracks when he saw Mac standing in front of his coffee table. “…home,” he was finally able to end his sentence. His eyes were feasting on Mac’s body, especially her bare, well-toned, long, lean, sexy legs. Allowing his eyes to slowly move upward, he let out a whistle. “I like your outfit, Marine,” he stated, making sure he emphasized the ‘Marine’ as he walked over to the coffee table, placing the bagels and croissants into the breadbasket. “It suits you much better than me.”
“Oh, oh,” Mac answered squeamishly biting on her lower lip as Harm helped her to a chair. “Do I even want to know what Grams picked out for me?” she asked him. “Ummm… I hope you don’t mind that I’m wearing your clothes?” she asked, reaching for and finding his forearm, squeezing just a little. “The only thing I have is what I had on yesterday and the Tomcat shirt, and I really thought I should change into something else. After all, I couldn’t possible walk around here all day in just a shirt now, could I?”
“I wouldn’t have minded,” Harm murmured under his breath as he took his place at the end of the table.
He hadn’t realized he had said it loud enough for his grandmother to hear until he felt her playful slap to his head. “Be nice, Harmon,” she warned, smiling from ear to ear as she sat down right next to him, placing the bowl of scrambled eggs on to the middle of the table. “And don’t you worry one bit, Sarah. The sweatshirt and the shorts I picked out suit you very well. Right, Harm?”
Harm chuckled. “Yeah, Grams. She looks lovely in them. I must say you picked out the perfect outfit for a Marine. That’s a given.”
Mac let out a very audible groan, knowing exactly where all this was going. “Oh, God. Please don’t tell me I’m wearing your dark blue shorts and sweatshirt with the white letters NAVY written all over them?” she bellowed.
“Of course not, Mac,” Harm replied roaring, shaking his head. “You are attired in my gray sweatshirt with the dark blue letters NAVY on them. But yeah, you’re right about the shorts… they’re the dark blue ones. Grams’ has excellent taste and she definitely knows what suits you,” he concluded smugly.
“Bravo,” Mac replied playfully. “Well, at least please tell me the socks are just plain old wool ones and not Navy issues?”
Harm bent down and stuck his head under the table, once again enjoying the magnificent view of her beautiful legs. “Lovely,” he murmured before bringing his head back up. “No, no Navy issues, no need to worry.”
“Thank God,” she said grinning, putting her hand over her chest. “However, should the Marine Corp or any one in it ever get wind of this one… well, I’d be a goner that’s for sure… kicked out... bye bye. One good thing, though - at least I am wearing my own underwear.”
Harm laughed at her exuberance. “Believe me, Mac. Should that ever happen, the Navy would be proud to welcome you on board… with open arms, and be damn lucky to have you.”
Mac was about to say something and reneged, sticking her tongue out at him instead. Her reaction made him laugh even more. When he turned his gaze to his grandmother, he could see how much she was enjoying the show that they were putting on, especially their playful bantering. Harm then leaned so close to Mac that she could feel his lips as they barely touched her ear as he spoke. “You do remember what I said the last time you stuck that tongue of yours out at me, don’t you?” he asked seductively in barely a whisper.
Mac merely nodded her head as she was still shuttering from the sound of his husky voice and the feel of his warm breath against her skin.
“Be happy Grams is watching us, otherwise I would show you right now,” he confessed quietly, intending it for her ears only.
His words and obvious flirting rendered her speechless. While she wondered about the meaning behind his very flirtatious behavior, her dumfounded reaction made Harm laugh even more. He gently squeezed her shoulder. “I got ya, Jarhead!” he smirked. “I got ya big time.” He then removed the grocery bag from the table and quickly headed for his kitchen with his cocky grin well in place.
“You so don’t play fair Harmon Rabb Jr., and you know what they say about payback.” Harm stopped dead in his tracks. “You just wait, Sailor. One day when you least expect it, I am going to make my move and get you so good that you will never know what hit you. And you can take that to the bank,” Mac taunted back. Once the innuendo of her words penetrated her foggy brain, she blushed a bright red and impatiently waited for the other shoe to drop.
Harm forgot about the bag he was carrying and started walking back towards Mac while she was talking. “Well, well, Marine. I like the sound of that.” he whispered gravelly. “Bring it on. I certainly hope that it’s a promise you intend to keep,” Harm temptingly teased back at her, one hand on his hip.
“Uummpphh…,” was all Mac could spit out as she once again felt his warm breath on her face like a soft caress. She had said enough, having already put one foot in her mouth. No point trying for two.
Grandma Sarah had definitely enjoyed the floorshow, but thought it was time to put the brakes on and cool things down for a while. Mac had blushed enough and Harm… well if he got on her anymore… he would be on her literally. ‘These two definitely need a room,’ she mused, shaking her head at the fact that they considered themselves just friends. ‘Just friends my sweet…’
Her thoughts were abandoned when Harm walked by her on his way back to the kitchen and stopped suddenly to give her a quick hug. “What’s that goofy look on your face all about?” he asked her curiously.
“Oh, you just never mind,” she responded patting his rear as he walked away.
Harm was shaking his head, knowing that in that moment, he nearly lost control. He had been a heartbeat away from tracing his tongue over and into her ear. Thank goodness he came to his senses and realized that it was neither the time nor the place to go there. He quickly put the supplies he had bought away before rejoining his grandmother and Mac at the coffee table.
Harm tried for normalcy. “So, what did you lovely ladies do while I was gone?” he asked, taking a closer look at the set table. “Mmmmm…scrambled eggs I see. Great,” Harm commented and dished out some for both Mac and himself.
“Sarah and I enjoyed ourselves, setting the table and making the breakfast,” Grams answered cheerfully.
“Yeah,” Mac chimed in, blushing profusely while a little smirk adorned her face. “I owe you two plates and a mug,” she ended by shrugging her shoulders. “Guess I had more fun clearing the table versus setting it. I’ll buy you a whole new set, promise.”
Harm chuckled, giving her unhurt hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay, Mac, don’t worry about it,” he replied, knowing that Mac had a problem accepting the fact that she was not one-hundred percent herself and mistakes could happen. “Things happen. It’s not the end of the world. So tell me… how are you feeling today?” Harm asked her, masterfully changing the subject.
“You mean other than being totally embarrassed about the mishap with the dishes and upset about the fact that you have to feed me, cloth me and put a roof over my head? I’m okay. Just a little headache and a bit sore - but nothing too serious.”
“Oh, dear,” Grandma Sarah threw in before Harm had a chance to. “There is nothing to feel embarrassed about. Breaking dishes happens to all of us even when we can see them. It’s like spilt milk… no point in crying over it, so...,” she suddenly stopped midway as the words being spoken on the radio caught her attention. They were about to air a special bulletin.
She turned to look at Harm, knowing that the look on his face mirrored her own.
Harm quickly stood up and walked over to the radio to turn up the volume.
“Good morning, you’re listening to WTWP 107.7 FM and my name is Jessica Doyle here with a special bulletin. Another explosion rocked the otherwise quiet evening last night in Georgetown. Several offices and apartments were destroyed. This one took place just two blocks away from the apartment building that was demolished by a huge explosion two nights ago. According to Detective Brown of the MPDC the mishap has claimed seven lives, while several occupants of the building are still unaccounted for. He was still not commenting on whether the tragedy was intentional or accidental, nor would he discuss whether or not the two incidents were related. So far the explosions have caused twenty-five casualties. As soon as any more details are available, we will let you know.”
Harm sighed, turning off the radio when the station broke to air several advertisements. He slowly made his way back to the coffee table not feeling the least bit hungry.
“Oh, my God. What do you think?” Grams asked him softly as Mac sat there motionless in total silence, her face totally pale.
Harm shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not sure,” he confessed truthfully. “But it doesn’t sound good.”
“Do you think someone out there purposely set the explosions?” Mac asked, after finally finding her voice again. The thought of that possibility hit her hard and she totally deflated.
Harm cursed himself for letting her hear the bulletin once he saw her reaction to it. “I wish I could give you an answer, Mac. If they are related and were set on purpose, I think we can erase the worst case scenario from our minds once and for all.”
“Which would be?” she asked shakily.
“That the explosion at your apartment building was intentional and aimed at you personally.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Mac asked in a whisper, not believing what he just said.
Harm saw how much his words had affected her, and he wished he hadn’t spoken them out loud. “I really hope so,” was all he could say. He was just beginning to realize the deep impact all of this was having on himself as well. Because if the attack was intentional, the attacker couldn’t run far or fast enough to escape his wrath. That was for sure.
“Maybe we should call the police. They may know more than the radio station,” Grandma Sarah suggested before taking a sip of her steaming coffee.
“Yeah, Grams has a point, Harm. If you don’t mind, I would also like to go to my apartment,” Mac said. “Maybe there is something still salvageable,” she concluded with a sigh. She hoped that there would be something of her life still there, but mostly she hoped that Jingo would be there… loyally waiting for her.
Harm knew how much Mac wanted Jingo to have survived, and there was still that possibility. He hadn’t been back to the building so he had no idea what was or wasn’t left. Hopefully, luck would be on her side and her apartment would still be there. Harm again gave her left hand an affectionate squeeze. “I’ll tell you what… why don’t you stay here and keep Grams’ company while I take a run to your apartment, and a slight detour to the police station? There isn’t anything you could do there anyway, Mac,” he said softly.
Mac sat there pensively chewing on her now raw lip. She listened while Harm spoke, knowing in her head that he was right even though she was not fond of the idea. “Okay,” she finally relented with a deep breath. “But there is something else,” she added quietly.
“What?”
“Can we remove the gauze from my eyes, please? Maybe my sight will be back,” she pleaded. “Please, Harm. Just for a second… I need to know.”
“No, Mac. I want to know just as badly as you do. But it is not a good idea. You know I would do anything for you, but I really think we should wait until your appointment tomorrow.”
“Why?” Mac asked, pouting like a little child unable to get its own way.
The disappointment in her voice was obvious and he really wished he could do something. “I just don’t want to cause any more damage to them, Mac. The doc said we shouldn’t remove the bandages, and as much as I would love to do this for you, I think we should listen to him.”
“I know, you’re right,” Mac replied softly. “I just wish…”
“Me too, Mac. Believe me, me too.”
They enjoyed the rest of their breakfast and spent the morning chatting and making plans for what to do over the next few days that Grandma Sarah would be in Washington.
*
15:03 AM
Harm sat motionless in his car, looking out the windshield at the devastating scene in front of him. ‘This is even worse than they said it was,’ Harm thought as he removed the keys from the ignition and opened the door to get out of the car.
After leaving his apartment, Harm stopped at the police station first, hoping to get some good news. However that hope was immediately shattered. The only information he was able to extract was that there were six more casualties and four survivors, but Mac’s neighbor was still missing. They were not forthcoming with any news about what or who had caused the explosion, even though Harm sensed that they knew more than they were telling him.
“Oh, my God,” Harm murmured as he stood in front of what was left of Mac’s apartment building. It no longer existed - in its place was a heap of burned out rubble. The fact that Mac had actually survived this disaster made him shutter.
There was nothing left of Mac’s apartment or her things…or Jingo. Heck, he had no clue of where Mac’s apartment even was. The only guide he had were the trees and bushes surrounding the area.
‘How am I ever going to explain this to her?’ he wondered as a tear slowly made its way down his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Sarah,” he murmured when a sudden loud noise behind him made him jump.
*
Harm opened the elevator door and removed the security bars. He immediately froze in his tracks when the sound of happy voices, soft music, and infectious laughter reached his ears. It appeared to be coming from his apartment. He quickly dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He couldn’t help but smile as his heart jumped excitedly when he heard Mac’s merry laughter. “Didn’t know we were having a party tonight,” he murmured happily.
“Hi everyone,” he called as he walked into his apartment. He was instantly greeted by laughter and giggles.
“Unca Harm! Unca Harm!” Little AJ screamed in delight and as quickly as his little feet would carry him, he ran to his godfather, jumping happily into his waiting arms. “Hi Unca Harm. I’m being two, soon,” the little tot greeted him excitedly, holding two of his little fingers right in front of his face. “I’m biiiggg boy then!” he squealed proudly.
Harm chuckled and hugged his godson. “I know, buddy,” he said. He decided to continue playing along asking, “how many days left, sport?”
Little AJ grinned from ear to ear. “Five!” he answered proudly, clapping his hands in delight before just as proudly holding up his left hand to show his godfather how many days were left. For over a month now, he would make a game out of asking his parents how many days were left ‘till his birthday, having them show him with their hands so he would know and be able to repeat it “You comin my party, right?” the little guy asked with glimmering blue eyes.
Harm knew it
was more a statement than a question, and he gave Little AJ a bright grin. “Are
you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it for the world, AJ!” His eyes then wandered to
the grownups who were sitting around the coffee table. “Hi Harriet, hey Bud,” he
greeted his friends and put his squirming godson down on his feet, and like a
whirlwind, he whizzed right back into his godmother’s arms.
Mac loved holding her godson and proceeded to squeeze him tightly, much to Little AJ’s delight. Every possible pain vanished in a heartbeat.
“Hello, Sir,” Bud replied smiling.
“Bud, we are not in the office, nor are we in uniform. I think you can call me Harm.”
“Yes, s… ah, Harm.“
“Little AJ made it an order for us to get here so that he personally could invite his godparents to his big birthday party,” Harriet explained, grinning as she turned her gaze to her son just in time to see that he had crawled out of Mac’s embrace and right into Grandma Sarah’s.
“He is a wonderful boy, Harriet,” Grams voiced, looking down at the lively child who was now busy playing with his godfather’s cover.
When Little AJ decided it was time to don his godfather’s cover while singing what sounded like the Navy anthem, everyone around him couldn’t hold back their laughter. Harm took that opportunity to quickly re-open his apartment door. While everyone was still enjoying AJ’s little performance, Mac stopped laughing and turned up her nose. “Oh, my God,” she whispered so quietly that the others barely heard her. “Harm?” she squealed as Harm quickly got down on his knees in front of her. “Is that…?”
“Yeah,” he reassured her, putting his hands gently on her knees where she grabbed on to them with her unhurt hand, holding them in anticipation. She was both worried and hopeful at the same time, unsure of what was coming next. Harm put her hand back on to her lap, then turned his gaze to the right and patted the space next to him. “Come here, boy,” he commanded.
“Jingo,” Mac whispered, reaching with her hand as the dog took her actions as his final cue to move forward. Harm was surprised that Jingo hadn’t run to his master the moment he spotted her, but suspected the noise from the people in the room had him a little confused and disoriented.
With a loud ‘woof’ he ran to Mac placing himself between her and Harm. When Mac reached out to pat him with her unhurt hand, he placed his paws onto her lap and started to lick her face excitedly.
“Oh, Jingo,” she cried happily and giggled. Even with the bandages over her eyes, a single teardrop slowly made its way down her cheek and Jingo continued to lick it away. “How?” she croaked, as she continued to let her hand glide over his soft fur.
Harm inhaled deeply, swallowing a few times before he was able to regain his voice. The scene in front of him was extremely emotional, more so than he had expected. When Jingo had approached Harm at Mac’s apartment, he couldn’t believe his eyes. To say he was shockingly overwhelmed was putting it mildly. As much as he had hoped and prayed to find the dog there, and thus being able to keep his promise to Mac, he had pretty much given up and deemed it futile. Mac’s reaction was proof that she had harbored the same feelings.
“Your neighbor and Jingo were out walking when the explosion occurred,” Harm replied, patting Jingo playfully. “Weren’t you, boy?” Jingo turned from Mac to Harm and licked his nose. Harm laughed wholeheartedly. “They were nowhere near the building when it exploded so they both are just fine.” By now, the room had gone silent as everyone was watching the scene in front of them and listening to Harm’s explanation of what had happened. “When they returned from their walk, you had already been taken to the hospital. Your neighbor tried to get information from the authorities on the scene, but it was so chaotic that no one seemed to really know where you were.”
“Oh, my God,” Mac said, biting her lower lip, trying hard to get her emotions back under control as she held on to Jingo’s neck.
“When she called police headquarters the next day, she was told that you had been brought to the hospital. She tried there but because she is not a relative, all they would tell her was that you had been treated and released. They would not say anymore than that.”
“Where… how did you find her?” Mac asked.
“They found me, Mac,” Harm replied with a smile. “Your neighbor felt that you or someone you knew would make their way back to the apartment sooner or later… so she stayed close by, knowing that you would be looking for her and Jingo.”
“She’s okay, right? Where is she staying?” Mac asked worriedly.
“Considering what happened… yeah she’s okay. She is staying with her boyfriend for now,” Harm explained chuckling. “She told me that at least one good thing came out of the entire tragedy. Her boyfriend finally got his wish for her to move in with him.”
Mac giggled. “I bet. Hannah told me a million times how hard he was trying to get her to move in with him, but she enjoyed her independence too much so she couldn’t make herself do it. I’m sure Travis is thrilled and will do everything in his power to keep her there.”
It was Harm’s turn to chuckle. “If he’s a smart man, he will do just that,” he replied grinning and added to himself, ‘it’s what I would like to do with you, Sarah.’ He suddenly became aware that all eyes in the room where watching them intently. “Are you guys hungry?”
“Yeah!” Little AJ squealed in delight. “S’ghetti. S’ghetti!”
The grownups laughed and Harm tousled his hair. He quickly turned to Bud and Harriet who nodded their approval. Then he turned back to his godson. “Very good idea, AJ. You’re gonna help me in the kitchen, right?”
“Yes!” Little AJ answered gleefully, reinforcing his answer by nodding his head and clapping his hands. “Me biiiggg boy soon!”
AJ’s comment made everyone laugh louder. Harm reached out his hand to where AJ was sitting on Grandma Sarah’s lap so that his godson could take it. Harm was just starting to get up from his knees when Mac’s comment stopped him in his tracks.
“Boy, wow, you need a good bath,” she said matter-of-factly.
Harm raised his eyebrow, quickly looking around at his friends and grandmother before he turned his gaze back to Mac. He demonstratively raised one arm and sniffed. “I sure hope you’re talking about your dog, Mac,” he said jokingly.
Mac giggled while the others laughed. She moved forward and playfully turned up her nose sniffing in his direction. “Yeah, I think you’re okay, Harm. It’s Jingo who smells absolutely horrible,” she told him smirking.
“Phew, lucky me,” Harm countered smiling, wiping his brow playfully. “Come on AJ, time to get the food going before your Auntie Mac becomes one cranky Marine.”
With that said, he and little AJ walked hand in hand into the kitchen, leaving a smiling Mac behind who was still clinging to Jingo.
All the way to the kitchen, Harm couldn’t help the very descriptive pictures running through his mind at Mac’s comment. Bathtub… bubbles… nakedness… hands all over the place washing and scrubbing... and... ’Whoa, stop that, thoughts like that will… well… STOP NOW! What is wrong with you?’ he told himself sternly.
*
Without any major complications, Harm and Little AJ were able to make a wonderful spaghetti dinner, which was AJ’s all time favorite meal. When Bud reached out to have his son sit on his lap so that he could help him with his food, he refused and insisted on sitting on his godfather’s lap.
Harm already knew from previous experiences what it was like to give Little AJ spaghetti to eat. Granted, some of it did end up in his mouth and down into his tummy. The majority of it, however, was distributed pretty evenly on his clothes, his hair, and of course his entire face. Everyone around the table enjoyed the sweet banter between godfather and godson every time a piece of spaghetti would miss Little AJ’s mouth and end up somewhere else. Mac was the exception. She had suddenly become very quiet.
Harm noticed the sudden change in her demeanor and was about to say something when she suddenly got up from her chair. “Mac?”
“Would you guys excuse me, please? I’m not feeling very well and would like to lie down for a little while,” she explained softly. Harm, knowing her so well, knew she was holding back her tears.
“Do you want me to help you?” he softly asked but Mac just shook her head.
“No, thanks, I memorized this room well enough. I think I should be able to find the way on my own,” she answered quietly. “You stay and enjoy the good food and wonderful company. I’m okay, don’t worry.”
With that, she slowly walked away from the table and gingerly made her way to Harm’s bedroom without any mishaps.
Harm looked around the table and could see by the expression on their faces that everyone was just as worried about Mac as he was. “I think I should go see if she’s okay,” he said, setting Little AJ down on his feet before getting up from his chair to follow Mac into his bedroom.
Harriet’s eyes had never left Mac as she traipsed her way to Harm’s bedroom. “I hope she is going to be okay,” she said wistfully.
Grams patted Harriet’s knee. “Don’t worry, dear. She will be just fine. My grandson is taking good care of her and he will see to it.”
“Yes… yes he is, ma’am,” Bud replied solemnly.
*
“Hey, you okay?” Harm softly asked from the doorway of the bedroom.
Mac was lying on the bed with her back turned to him. He could see that she was trying her best not to cry out loud, but her shaking body was giving away the fact that she was crying. “Mac?” Slowly he made his way towards her, sitting down on the bed right next to her. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked her, placing his hand affectionately on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, really. I didn’t want to make you worry or dampen everyone’s good spirits,” she whispered sniffling.
Harm scooted closer to her and gently caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Don’t worry about it. Just tell me what’s wrong, Mac,” he pleaded softly.
Mac shrugged her shoulders and slowly sat up with her back against the headboard, a few pillows stabilizing her sore back. “I don’t know, Harm… it’s just… you and Little AJ… well you were both having so much fun. And then we were bantering and joking… it was so nice and well…I just wish that I could have seen it all. I wanted to see why everyone was laughing so much… I wanted so badly to see their faces… your face,” she explained in a mere whisper.
Harm moved closer and placed a little kiss onto her forehead, his lips lingering a little longer than necessary. “I know, Mac. And you will… you will soon enough.”
“Can’t we…,” Mac started to ask as Harm sighed, knowing exactly what she wanted so badly to do.
“Mac, please…” he protested and attempted yet again to persuade her into seeing that it wasn’t a good idea, but something inside him snapped as he looked at her sad face and he could no longer refuse her.
“Please,” she pressed once more.
Harm took a deep breath, giving her unhurt hand a gentle squeeze. “Okay, Mac,” he conceded. “We’ll give it a try, but only for a minute, okay?”
Mac gave him a sweet smile and nodded. “Okay. Thank you, Harm.”
Harm got up and walked to the windows, closing the blinds on the windows, making the room as dark as possible as any form of light would cause more damage at the moment. When he returned to Mac’s side, he saw that Little AJ was snuggled up to his godmother, holding her hand supportively. He had slipped into the room behind Harm undetected until now.
Harm smiled at the scene in front of him and once again sat down right next to Mac. “Ready?” he asked, already knowing her answer.
“More than ready,” she answered, nervously nibbling on her lower lip.
Harm took another deep breath and slowly started to unwrap the gauze from Mac’s eyes, impatiently waiting for Mac’s reaction. “Okay, here we go.”
*
Harm was slowly removing the gauze from her eyes when he stopped midway. “Okay, wait a minute here. Mac, before I lift the rest of the gauze, I want you to keep your eyes closed. Then slowly, and I do mean very slowly start to open them. You got that?” Harm asked.
His own eye surgery came to mind. It was a simple laser procedure that enabled him to return to flying. He remembered how much the doctor emphasized the importance of opening his eyes gradually and not letting the light rush in all at once. If they were going to do this, he was determined to do it as right as possible.
“Got it, Doctor Rabb,” she answered jokingly, making Little AJ giggle.
Harm smiled at her comment while he was still lingering over the last piece of gauze. As much as he wanted to appease Mac and himself for that matter, he still wasn’t sure it was such a good idea.
“Oh for Pete’s sake, Harm, please just do it,” Mac replied impatiently.
Harm took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He removed the last of the gauze pads from Mac’s eyes and placed them onto the nightstand, not daring to take his eyes from her face. He was relieved to see that she had listened to him and kept her eyes closed. It also gave him the opportunity to examine the area around her eyes for any external injuries. He gently ran his thumbs over her closed eyes, pleased to see there wasn’t any bruising or swelling. He chuckled. “Well Mac, I guess we can’t be twins. You don’t have a black eye like I do.”
Mac smirked. “Too bad, Harm. It’s really a shame that we can’t both say we ran into the same door,” she said sarcastically and then got serious. “Have Bud and Harriet made any comment about your black eye?”
“No. They know darn well that I didn’t run into any door, and after our earlier confrontation I’m sure they know who is responsible. Their concern was obvious when they saw it, but I motioned to them that it was nothing. They understood and didn’t say anything further.”
“Good,” Mac said relieved as she sat there fidgeting. “Now can I?” she asked like a precocious little child on Christmas morning.
“How do you feel?” he asked first.
“You mean other than being extremely impatient, like a fox watching a rabbit being dangled in front of his nose that he can’t quite grab? Then I am very okay. It does feel a bit strange though, like a heavy weight has been lifted from my eyes,” she explained chuckling. “I guess that gauze was heavier than I thought.” She paused, taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I’m almost afraid to open them,” she sighed. Fearing what might happen, she groped for and found Harm’s hand and held it tightly, wanting to absorb his comforting strength.
“We don’t have to go any further. We can still stop here, Mac,” Harm proposed, knowing that it was wishful thinking on his part. Although, honestly speaking, he wanted to know just as much as she did. What he wanted even more was to be able to look into the depths of her beautiful chocolate brown eyes.
Mac grinned from ear to ear. “I said ‘almost’, Harm.”
Harm chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “I had to at least try. Okay, Mac, I want you to slowly open your eyes now. Be prepared to not know instantly. Your eyes may need a little time here to adjust to the fact that they are no longer covered, so give them and yourself that adjustment time. At least that’s what the doctor had told me.”
She nodded and slowly started to open her eyes. Harm watched impatiently as her eyelids started to flutter before they fully opened. Her beautiful brown eyes were staring at him. Sadly, Harm could see that they were doing just that: staring – a hollow blank stare.
Even though he told her that it might take some time for her eyes to adjust, he knew then and there that it was a lost cause. Her eyes were not focusing. The truth hit him hard – she couldn’t see and she knew it.
Mac stayed quiet and simply shook her head repeatedly in despair.
“I’m so sorry, Mac,” Harm whispered as Mac nodded her head. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and take away all her pain... physical and emotional. “I guess it is just going to take a little longer, that’s all.”
Mac was obviously disappointed, and didn’t want to talk about it. So they merely sat there holding hands, consoling each other without words.
Before he could do or say anything else, Little AJ broke the paralyzing, silent atmosphere that was suffocating the room. He saw her crying and quickly crawled onto his godmother’s lap. “Don’t cry, Auntie Mac,” he said, reaching to dry her tears with his chubby little hands.
Then he grinned from ear to ear, remembering something important he had learned. He may only be one, but he knew enough to know that the gauze meant that his aunt had a boo-boo. And what did his mommy always say about a boo-boo? “Kissing boo-boo make better and boo-boo go ‘way,” Little AJ said aloud, quickly kissing first the right and then the left closed eyelid of his godmother.
Mac chuckled through her tears. “Thanks, AJ,” she whispered sniffling, feeling extremely touched and overwhelmed by her godson’s gentle thoughtfulness. “You made Auntie Mac feel much better, sweetheart,” she told the toddler, hugging him close.
Little AJ then crawled off her lap and once again took his place right next to her when Harm attempted to put the gauze back on Mac’s eyes. Little AJ quickly shook his head. “No, Unca Harm. Kissing boo-boo make better and boo-boo go ‘way,” he repeated since his godfather obviously hadn’t grasped the concept the first time around.
Harm laughed, running his hand over Little AJ’s head. “You’re right, buddy,” he replied and, imitating his godson, kissed both of Mac’s eyes, letting his lips linger to enjoy the softness. If Mac wasn’t so distraught, she would have relished the sweetness of his touch, but right now all she could think about was never being able to see again - to see him again.
Harm gently replaced the gauze over her eyes before whispering into her ear. “Everything will be okay, Mac,” he whispered, using the exact same words from earlier. “I promise.”
”Don’t make a promise you can’t keep,” Mac replied quietly, taking a deep breath. She needed to get her emotions back under control yet again. She was not only physically impaired; she was an emotional mess as well. ‘Thank God I’m here with Harm,’ she thought. ‘Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. I don’t have to pretend here… I can be me... good or bad, happy or sad, it doesn’t matter because Harm would never judge me,’ she concluded.
Harm grinned. He then raised his left hand and gently put it against Mac’s left cheek, caressing her face. “I haven’t yet,” he answered and even though she couldn’t see it, Mac knew his cocky flyboy grin, the one she loved so much, was well in place.
As soon as Mac felt Harm starting to withdraw his hand from her face, she held it with her unhurt hand, her cheek resting comfortably against his palm. “No, you haven’t.”
“Feel like joining the others?”
Turning her head slightly, she planted a soft tender kiss on the palm of his hand before she squeezed and let go of it. “No, I think I’m going to lie down for a while. I feel a little tired.”
“Okay.” Harm helped her lie down on her side and then placed some pillows behind her to support her back. As he got up from the bed, he held out his hand for Little AJ to take. “Come on, buddy. I think I might have some of your favorite ice cream for dessert in my fridge.”
Little AJ shook his head vehemently. “No, wanna stay with Auntie Mac. Hav’ta stay!” Protecting and taking care of his aunt right now was the only thing on his agenda.
Harm looked down at Mac who was nearly asleep already. “Mac?”
“It’s okay, Harm,” she replied sleepily. “I would love for him to stay here with me.”
Little AJ’s face beamed brightly with a winner grin aimed at his godfather as he started to climb over Mac’s body. Harm quickly lifted him up so that he didn’t hurt her in the process. He placed the little ball of energy right next to Mac. Little AJ immediately lay down and snuggled up to her. Harm smiled, watching Mac embrace him and draw their godson even closer to her. AJ sighed in response, placing his thumb in his mouth as he closed his eyes.
Harm chuckled, shaking his head at the sweet sight in front of him. “Well, I guess you are still that little baby boy that we all know and love so very much,” he whispered into the silent room before placing a little kiss on both their heads. As he turned to leave the room, he saw how Jingo had found a place for himself at the doorway of the room so that he could keep guard. Harm got down on his knees, rubbing Jingo’s ears. “Good boy. You take good care of these two, okay? They’re very special to me.”
Jingo answered with a quiet ‘woof’ before placing his head onto his forepaws, his eyes glued to the two people on the bed. They were important to him too.
Harm took a last look at Mac and Little AJ before leaving the bedroom to once again join the others in the living room.
*
About an hour later, Bud and Harriet decided it was time for them to go home. It was getting late and it had been a long day. “Thanks for the dinner, Sir,” Harriet said getting up from the couch. “It was a great evening.” She then turned to Grandma Sarah. “It was nice to finally meet you in person, Mrs. Rabb. I hope we will get to see you again before you leave.”
Grams sighed dramatically as she looked at her grandson with a raised eyebrow. “Will they ever learn?” she asked him, talking about the fact that she’d told them a million times to call her ‘Grams’ not ‘Mrs. Rabb’.
Harm laughed. “Don’t ask me, Grams. I’ve known them for years now, and they still call me ‘Commander’ or ‘Sir’, even though I’ve told them a trillion times that my name is ‘Harm’ outside the office.”
Bud shrugged his shoulders, giving him his goofy grin. “Bad habit, Sir.”
Harm pointed to Bud, looking wide-eyed at his grandmother. “See, what did I tell you?”
That comment brought a round of laughter. “Just let me get Little AJ for you,” Harm said as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom.
Once there, he stopped dead in his tracks, smiling at the sight in front of him. They hadn’t changed their position, except for the fact that Mac seemed to be holding on to AJ a little tighter. The steady rise and fall of Mac’s chest along with the little snoring noises coming from Little AJ told him that they were both sound asleep and appeared to be out for the night. However, Jingo must have gotten lonely in the doorway because he was now perched comfortably at the foot of the bed – asleep as well.
Harm moved into the room a bit and Jingo’s right eyelid immediately rose to peer at the intruder. As soon as he saw it was friend and not foe, he closed his eye again and immediately fell back to sleep.
Harm took the blanket from his side of the bed and carefully – so as not to wake them, put it over the sleeping pair and tucked them in. Kissing their heads again, he quickly left the room.
*
“Having a problem getting my little sailor away from his godmother?” Harriet questioned, giggling the minute she saw Harm leaving the bedroom without her son in tow.
“They are both out like a light, and I really don’t see the need to wake them,” Harm told her grinning. “Why don’t you let him stay for the night? I talked to the Admiral earlier and got permission to take a few days off. AJ can spend tomorrow with us and I’ll bring him home sometime tomorrow evening - if that’s okay with you?”
Harriet looked at Bud who shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sure AJ would love it. Sure, why not.”
“Okay, great,” Harm responded grinning, but quickly turned serious again. “There is also a huge favor I need to ask of you, Harriet. It’s about Mac.”
“What, Sir? Of course, I will be happy to do anything I can to help. Just name it.”
Harm walked over to the bookshelf to retrieve his wallet. ‘Good thing I stopped at the bank,’ he said more to himself than out loud. “Harriet, could you get Mac some new clothes, toiletries, sunglasses… you know… whatever a woman needs to have these days. You should have more than enough money here,” he said, handing the money over to Harriet. “If you have to put in more, just let me know and I will reimburse you. I think you know the things Mac might need to make her more comfortable here.”
“Sure, I would love to help.” Harriet replied, taking the money from Harm.
“Great,” Harm said, rubbing his hands together. “I have to admit though that I already talked the Admiral into giving you tomorrow off so that you could help me out. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not, Sir,” she said smiling brightly. “But I should warn you, Sir. She is going to need quite a few things seeing as how she doesn’t have anything. So you probably won’t be getting back any change,” she concluded with a raised eyebrow.
“You can count on that, Sir,” Bud said under his breath but loud enough for everyone to hear.
Harm laughed, putting his arm around Harriet’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. You just get her everything that she needs. I want her to feel at home here, but I obviously don’t have all the things that a woman needs to make her comfortable. So spend as much as you need to. I really do appreciate this, Harriet. Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary, Sir.” Harriet answered, putting her arm around his waist and squeezing gently. “It is my pleasure. I… we would do anything for either one of you.”
Harm kissed her cheek and thanked her again, before saying final goodbyes and walking the Roberts to the door.
*
Harm closed the door behind them, turning around in time to catch his grandmother in a huge yawn. “You look tired, Grams,” he told her softly.
“I am, dear. It has been a long day,” she answered, slowly getting up from the couch. “I think this old lady will call it a day. I also think that we should let Mac stay asleep and not treat her back tonight. After the shenanigans that went on here last night, she needs all the sleep she can get.”
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. I guess it’s time to take Jingo out for a walk though, before I call it a night as well.” Harm walked over to her, giving his grandmother a big bear hug. “Good night, Grams. I’m really glad you’re here. Love you.”
“Love you too, dear, and I’m glad I’m here for both of you.”
They broke their embrace and Harm quietly left the living room in search of Jingo to take him for a walk.
*
Harm and Jingo spent nearly an hour outside, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere in a park nearby and getting to know each other better. As they walked back to the apartment building, Harm looked up at the darkened windows. “Well, Jingo,” Harm said, looking down at his captive audience. “Looks like our girls are deep into their beauty sleep. Want to join them?” he asked the dog who looked up trustingly at his new friend.
‘Woof,’ Jingo answered loudly, wagging his tail anxiously.
Harm laughed wholeheartedly as he opened the door of the building. “You’re a smart dog, Jingo. Come on… let’s get some well deserved shut-eye.”
Upon reaching his apartment door, Harm opened it quietly and Jingo quickly bolted for the bedroom without a second thought to the food Harm was about to dish out for him. He wanted to make sure his master was okay.
Harm shook his head, closed the door and followed Jingo. When he entered the bedroom, it was obvious that Mac and Little AJ were still fast asleep, and Jingo had wasted no time getting comfortable again at the foot of the bed. Harm stood motionless for a second while enjoying the view in front of him. Even in her sleep, Mac was protecting their godson, holding him safely in her loving arms. She appeared to be smiling and Harm couldn’t help but wonder what she might be dreaming about. The scene made his heart beat faster with an overwhelming joy that maybe, just maybe she was dreaming about holding their baby - which is exactly what he was thinking.
Needing sleep desperately, he quickly made his way to the bathroom to get ready for the night before climbing into bed beside Mac. Without a second thought, he scooted closer to her, taking both Mac and Little AJ into his arms. “Good night, beautiful,” he whispered into Mac’s ear before he closed his eyes and immediately fell into a peaceful sleep.
*
May 14, 2001
7:32 AM
Harm groaned, pulling Mac’s sleeping form closer to him. He definitely did not like the unusual wake-up call this morning. “Five more minutes, okay?” he murmured into her tousled hair. “Just five more minutes, pleaassse.”
His request was being ignored and over-ridden by continuous little pats and pulls to his cheeks as well as constant shakes to his shoulder. He soon realized there was no way he was going to get back to sleep, that was for sure.
“Whhhaaat?” Harm whined against Mac’s silky neck, nuzzling his nose against the soft, sweet smelling skin there.
“Unca Harm, I be hung’y,” Little AJ was now saying more forcefully for what he felt was the millionth time. When neither one of his godparents moved, he turned to look disappointingly at Grandma Sarah who was now standing in the doorway, investigating what all the ruckus was about. She just stood there, arms crossed in front of her chest, smiling brightly as she enjoyed the loving and amusing scene in front of her.
“Why not wake up, Granma?” Little AJ asked, keeping his one hand on Harm’s shoulder. He hadn’t been able to stop calling her ‘Granma’ since the moment he had sat on Harm’s grandmother’s lap and was told he could do so. He loved having someone else to cuddle up to. His little hand did not stay idle for long as he once again starting shaking his godfather’s shoulder. “Wake up, Unca Harm. Wake up!”
Harm grumbled something completely unintelligible and Little AJ sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Why not wake up?”
Grandma Sarah chuckled as she moved to the bed, holding her hand out for Little AJ to take. “Come on, AJ. What do you say we let these two old folks get a little more sleep while us young ones go make some breakfast?”
AJ grabbed her hand with a big smile. “I be hung’y,” he beamed.
Harm mumbled again as Little AJ climbed off the bed to follow Grams. With bright wide-open eyes, he looked at Grams a little confused. “You not old, Granma?” he asked her a bit flabbergasted.
Grandma Sarah was thoroughly amused and her belly laugh proved it. As they made their way out of the bedroom, she looked down at the little ball of energy beside her and responded, “Honey, I’m so old, I remember Moby Dick when he was just a guppy.”
“Huh?” Little AJ asked in wonder, making Grandma Sarah laugh even louder.
“Never mind, sweetheart. I think he’s the great-great-great-great-great-great-uncle of Nemo, or so I’ve heard.”
“Woooww!” Little AJ cried in fascination. “You old, Granma.”
Grandma Sarah couldn’t stop laughing. “Yeah, but it will be our little secret, okay?”
“Okay!” Little AJ responded giggling as they disappeared around the corner.
*
“Are they gone?” Mac murmured into her pillow as she snuggled even closer into Harm’s warm embrace. She had been awake the entire time, but didn’t want to move, hoping that Little AJ would get tired and finally stop. ‘God bless Grams,’ she mused. She was so completely immersed in the coziness she did not want to get up just yet.
Harm was spooned against her from behind, one of his arms wrapped firmly around her middle, running tiny circle on her bare belly. In a repeat performance of yesterday, his hand had once again found its way underneath her t-shirt, causing goose bumps to form on her tingling skin. Her head was comfortably pillowed on his other outstretched arm. Harm’s legs were entangled with hers and she could feel his hot breath against her neck. Could a day start any better?
“Hmmm,” Harm mumbled against her neck, his breath tickling her skin. “Finally.”
After exactly fifteen minutes, Mac sighed. “As much as I would relish staying like this a little while longer, I think it’s time for us to get up as well, or Grams might begin to wonder what we are up to in here,” she said jokingly. Mac slowly let her unhurt hand run down the mattress and put it on top of the one Harm was using to softly caress her belly. She let her fingers stroke over it gently before interlacing their fingers, pulling them up and placing them right next to her head.
“What time is it?” Harm asked sleepily. He was enjoying lying there just as much as she was and didn’t want to let her go just yet. This is exactly how he wanted to wake up every day for the rest of his life. Mac in his arms, snuggling close, simply enjoying the morning peacefulness before starting their day - together.
“Seven fifty,” she whispered chuckling, just as her stomach made itself known. “Sorry, I guess I’m hungry too.”
Harm let out a dramatic sigh laughing. “It’s a good thing I know better, or else I would say that I think our godson would make a fine Marine one day. His stomach is already acting like one. You gotta admit, Mac, he certainly has your passion for food.”
“And what is wrong with AJ wanting to be a Marine, Squid?”
Harm chuckled. “Nothing, Jarhead. He would have learned from the best role model he could ever have. I’m sure he would be one fine Marine.” He tenderly kissed her forehead, slowly untangling himself from their warm embrace to reluctantly get out of bed. He walked to the bathroom, pulling his undershirt over his head. “Give me a few minutes to take a quick shower. Then I’ll take care of Little AJ so Grams can help you get dressed, okay?”
“Mmmm… ’kay.” Mac groaned rather loudly as she turned slowly on her back.
Harm immediately stopped in his tracks and quickly turned around. “Is your back bothering you?” he asked softly.
“Just a little bit, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine once I start moving around a little. I guess Grams was right earlier. I am getting old,” she said smirking.
Her back was actually bothering her even more than it had for the last two days. The same went for her head, which was pounding more than her worst hangover ever had. Technically, it was her own fault for refusing to take any painkillers – whether they were prescription or not.
But it wasn’t just her sore back causing her to groan. The mere thought of Harm standing buck naked under his shower while she lay just a few feet away… well it was simply too much to bear.
”Mac, the doctor said you really shouldn’t lie on your back,” Harm admonished as he moved to her side of the bed. His close proximity immediately brought her out of her thoughts. “Feel like a little massage?” Harm asked softly as he sat down on the bed right next to her. “Maybe I can ease some of that pain for you.”
She shivered at the tone of his voice. It seemed deeper, raspier than usual – filled with emotion. Could it be desire? Was he flirting with her? Or did she just have a very vivid imagination? If she could see into the depths of those beautiful, blue-green eyes, she knew she would have her answer.
Mac gulped a few times, clearing her throat. “You know,” she answered quietly, “as much as I like the sound of that and how good it would feel, I have a date with my doctor in about three hours. So, if I don’t get my act together very soon, I’ll be late and in big trouble.”
Harm rebounded playfully. “You mean you would prefer a date with your doctor instead of being on the receiving end of the famous Rabb massage?” Harm put his hand to his chest. “You wound me, Marine... Hmmm, now that I’m thinking about it, you know we could make extra time by sharing the shower,” Harm embellished smirking.
Mac giggled, attempting to slap him playfully, landing a lucky punch to his bare chest. “Nice try, buster,” she said and quickly stopped herself from continuing the minute she felt his heated skin and tiny hairs under her fingertips. She all but stopped breathing. Without a second thought, she let her hand linger against his skin a little bit longer. Unconsciously, her fingertips roamed over his chest, lingering on his nipple.
Harm’s breath caught in his throat as his heart skipped a beat when he felt Mac’s soft fingertips on his heated skin, wandering over his chest and settling on his already erect nipple. He wasn’t sure if her touching him so intimately was intentional or accidental, but just looking at her face and the fact that she was breathing erratically told him that she was just as affected by it as he was. If that wasn’t enough, her nibbling on her bottom lip was. “Mac,” Harm breathed as he moved closer to her. His breathing was shallow and he could feel his heart pounding in his ears, while the blood was rushing quickly to a place it shouldn’t be going right now.
Now, Harm’s face was only inches away from Mac’s and she could feel his hot breath on her lips. She knew if she were to just move her head a tiny bit forward, their lips would meet. Harm’s hands cupped her face. “Sarah,” he whispered again. At the melodic sound of her given name, she leaned closer.
Her lips were drawn to his like a magnet, lingering there for a long, slow kiss. Mac’s good hand found its way to the nape of his neck and his silky hair, pulling him closer than she ever thought possible. If she was in pain it didn’t show as she let herself fall back against the pillows, pulling Harm with her while never breaking their kiss - which was becoming more heated, passionate, and deeper with every passing second.
She was spiraling out of control and falling, yes falling hard for him – and it was wrong. As soon as that realization penetrated her haze-filled brain, the room stopped spinning taking all her strength to break their kiss. Both were completely out of breath as Harm’s forehead touched hers. Mac inhaled deeply to compose herself. “I… I think you better go and take your shower before I have to call your grandmother to rescue me.”
“Rescue you? Should I apologize?” Harm asked quietly, not quite knowing how to read her reaction.
“No, never, Harm,” Mac quickly answered. “What just happened was amazingly wonderful.”
Harm sighed, relieved that he hadn’t overstepped the boundaries. He cleared his throat. “Well then, I… I better get going and… take a shower, huh?” ‘A very cold shower,’ he thought to himself.
Mac nodded her head lightly. She wanted to hold on to this memory, just as much as Harm wanted to hold on to her. “Yeah, you better,” she replied, knowing that if he didn’t go immediately, she would not be responsible for her actions. “Go ahead, go on now.”
“Okay,” Harm said, slowly getting up from the bed. “Are you sure you don’t want to share the shower?” he added smirking, trying to lighten the mood.
Mac giggled. “Go, Harm!” she said, scooting him with her good hand.
Harm put his hands up in surrender. “Okay…I’m going, I’m going,” he said, standing up. “But you don’t know what you’re missing,” he added as he walked towards the bathroom. Harm couldn’t resist continuing their playful banter. He mischievously reached behind him for the waistband of his boxer-briefs and let it snap against his well-toned, bare bottom.
“Harm!” Mac yelled in a warning tone, but found she couldn’t keep up the pretense of being angry and laughed.
“Oops,” Harm teased before laughing and disappearing into the bathroom.
“I may not be able to see at the moment, but I’m not dead. I have a pretty good idea,” Mac murmured, not really wanting Harm to hear her. She blindly reached out to grab Harm’s pillow right next to her. The sound of the shower running camouflaged her groan. Why couldn’t she get the images of Harm in the shower and what just happened out of her head. “Aaarrrgghhh!” she cried in frustration.
‘Oh God, what have I done?’ she thought to herself, still not believing what had just happened. She had to admit that being here was making it harder and harder for her to keep her feelings for Harm under control. Their regained close friendship was one thing, but their physical closeness the past couple of days was more than she could handle. She knew she had to find someplace to live and quick before this all ended in a disaster.
As much as the thought of leaving Harm saddened her, the idea of finding someplace to live made her smile as her mind wandered idly back to last night and the wonderful dream she had.
She dreamed about a little stone house, surrounded by a white picket fence with a big, old oak tree in front providing shade. It was set back somewhere quiet with its own forest of different trees, as well as several fruit trees and flowering shrubs. The backyard included a rose garden and fed into a little park that housed a lake in the center. The first floor of the house was basically one huge room consisting of the kitchen, dining and living room.
‘It felt comfortable, cozy, and familiar because it was similar to Harm’s loft,’ Mac remembered smiling, happy at being able to remember each and every little detail of her dream.
The strategically built stone fireplace in the living room and the alluring wall of windows captured her heart. The sun flowed in freely and brighten the room, saturating it in warmth. Its openness reminded her of a mountain cabin, rustic yet quaint. She had fallen in love with her ‘dream’ house.
As she roamed the first floor of the house, she discovered two beautiful, rather large bedrooms; one in shades of green and pink and the other in white and deep blue. There was also a full bath with black and white tiles adorned with antique fixtures. There was a magnificent oak stairwell, which she eagerly climbed to examine the second floor.
What she found on the second floor took her breath away, literally. The stairs led to a small foyer that led to the master bedroom. Just like the living room, the master bedroom had floor to ceiling windows that flooded the room with light. There was also a skylight, which would enable her to watch the stars and constellations at night from her bed, and when it was cold, she could light the huge fireplace ornamented with a beautiful oak mantel. French doors opened on to a large balcony with a view that was beyond words. From this part of the house, she was looking at the park and could actually see the ducks swimming in the lake.
The bedroom consumed most of the second story with the exception of a small room that could maintain an office, den, or even a nursery one day. There was also another absolutely amazing bathroom. It had a traditional shower, two washbasins, and a huge old-fashioned, claw-footed bathtub. It sat in the corner of the room where an over-sized arched window allowed a birds-eye view of the park. Mac loved it and imagined herself soaking in it, surrounded by nothing but water and bubbles.
She remembered her dream having sounds… the sounds of children playing and laughing and a dog barking somewhere nearby. She had looked out the massive bedroom window and saw them; a little boy and a little girl rough-housing with the dog in the backyard.
She had stood there watching and admiring them for a while when they suddenly stopped playing and called for their daddy… it was Harm.
She had been watching her children, their children.
It was their house.
Mac’s sigh turned into a groan. ‘Don’t go there.’
She gently tossed his pillow over her head, and took a deep breath. Immediately, his wonderfully unique, masculine scent surrounded her like his arms had, and intoxicated her like his very non-platonic kisses. She scolded herself. ‘Okay MacKenzie,’ she thought. ‘You have to stop this.’ She was becoming flushed as her errant thoughts made the heat settle between her legs where she wanted him most. She removed the pillow from her face and hugged it to her chest, closed her eyes and sighed before curling up into the fetal position. She desperately needed to calm her over-heated body down, preferably before Harm emerged from the shower.
Meanwhile, Harm was standing under the cold shower, calming his own torrid thoughts and attempting to get his aroused ‘little sailor’ under control before he had to go out and confront Mac again. Right now, he felt bad to admit it, but he was relieved she hadn’t been able to see what she was doing to him. She was a Marine after all, and definitely able to kick his six.
Mac was still under the covers when Harm re-entered the room dressed for the day. He leaned over her and kissed her forehead, causing Mac to stir lightly. “I will send Grams in to help you get ready now, okay?”
“Okay, thanks,” she responded without so much as lifting her head. What she really wanted was to be left alone for just a little while, but that was not to be as she heard Grams enter the room.
“Okay, child… rise and shine,” Grams bellowed, yanking at the covers as Mac held on to them.
“Do I have to?” Mac asked.
“Yes, yes you do,” Grams responded jovially, finally managing to remove the covers from Mac’s warm body.
Mac uncurled herself as Grams sat down on the bed beside her, sensing something was amiss. “Is everything okay, dear? Are you feeling poorly this morning?”
“Yes, no… oh, I don’t know anymore,” Mac muttered and then paused. She wasn’t sure she wanted to admit to Harm’s grandmother, albeit a wonderful woman, that what she was experiencing had nothing to do with not feeling well and everything to do with what she was feeling for her grandson.
Grams reached out and put her arm around Mac, helping her to sit up. “My goodness you look flushed and your body is so warm. I think you might be feverish. Let me go ask Harm if he has a thermometer handy so that we can take your temperature.”
“No!” Mac yelped. “I’m okay, really. I was just… ah… I mean Harm and I….” Mac was totally flustered and didn’t really know what to say. The last thing she needed right now was for Harm to walk back into the room and see her in her present condition.
“What child? You and my grandson what…? Oh… oh my,” Grams concluded, feeling a bit awkward for having invaded their privacy.
When Mac realized what Grams was thinking she was quick to clarify. “No… no Grams. It wasn’t… we didn’t… God, I am so embarrassed right now I could cry,” Mac concluded, rubbing her good hand over her forehead.
“Well for goodness sakes, tell me what has you so hot under the collar?”
Mac laughed out loud before answering the question. “In a word… your grandson. He confuses me so much, Grams. I have such strong feelings for him, and when he is close or when he touches me, I get tingly all over. But it is wrong… so wrong. I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Mac sighed wearily. “Sorry, Grams. I shouldn’t be unloading all this on you.”
“Nonsense, dear! And now tell me why, Sarah. Why is it wrong to feel the way you do? You are both adults who obviously care deeply for each other.”
“Why… why? I’ll tell you why. He is involved, Grams. He has a girlfriend, remember? Her name is Renee. That fact makes him unavailable and me a fool for thinking that his actions towards me mean anything more than friendship,” Mac concluded with a deep sigh.
“Sarah, tell me something. Knowing Harm the way you do, deep down in your heart, do you think Harm would act towards you the way he does if he doesn’t want more than a friendship with you?”
“No,” Mac admitted in a whisper. “No, he would never do that. But that doesn’t make it any better.” Then she took a deep breath, trying to shake off the sadness that suddenly overcame her. “Like I said, I’m sorry, Grams. I didn’t mean to ramble on like that. I hope you will accept my apologies. I do have a favor to ask though.”
“Of course, dear. What can I do for you?”
“Please don’t tell Harm about our conversation. It will only upset him, and he has been so kind and helpful. It wouldn’t be fair to him. Do you understand?”
“I don’t think it would upset him, but yes, dear, I do understand.” ‘More than you know,’ she added to herself.
Grams patted Mac’s knee and Mac was quick to grab her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you, Grams.”
“You’re welcome, Sarah,” Harm’s grandmother softly replied smiling warmly. “Just promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t bury your feelings for my grandson or run away from them. What the two of you have is so very special… not many people find what you both share. To find your one true love, the one who will be there for you through thick and thin no matter what, is something very few people find. I think the two of you have that. No, I know you have that. It is very obvious. Please, please don’t undermine that or the chance at a lifetime of happiness. The love of your life only comes around once… if you’re lucky. So please, dear, hold on tight and never let it go. I know because I shared that with Harm’s grandfather. My only regret was that it didn’t last longer. He left this world way too soon. I don’t want you to look back one day and say… if only… I should have... I don’t want either one of you to have any regrets. Even though I have only known you for just a few days, I can see that there is so much more going on between the two of you. But I can also see that you are both hiding behind your feelings, attempting to bury what you really want. Admit your feelings, Sarah… to yourself and to him. Please, dear, listen to what I’m saying… search deep within your heart… take my advice… that’s all I’m asking.”
Mac was completely overwhelmed. No one, other than Harm, had ever cared enough or taken the time to talk to her or be able to read her the way that Grams just did. She was speechless and had to choke back her tears. “I promise,” she whispered.
“Good, then let this old lady give you a hug now,” Grandma Sarah said, gently taking Mac into her arms in a warm embrace. “I love you, dear, and so does my grandson. Of that I’m certain.”
“I love you, too, Grams.”
“Okay, now let’s get you cleaned up and dressed, shall we?”
After Grams helped Mac wash and dress, she was about to escort her to the kitchen when Little AJ came barreling in looking for Auntie Mac. AJ was babbling on about helping with breakfast and what there was to eat, so Grams graciously excused herself and walked out of the room in search of her grandson.
Obviously, there was some sort of misunderstanding going on here. It was keeping two people apart who definitely belonged together. ‘Well, I guess it’s high time for this old lady to start playing cupid and do something quick,’ she mused, smirking.
*
A/N: *Sigh* the time has come for this chapter to come to an end. Here is the final part of HIWYLI Chapter One. But remember, it's only the beginning! As I stated in the disclaimer at the start, Chapter One won't answer all the questions, simply because I didn't want to rush it (and my name wouldn't be Michi if I did, LOL) Hope you can forgive me.
What can I say? There is so much going on that it even appears that there will be a third chapter. You have my word that Kathy and I are trying our best to finish the second chapter as soon as possible, and if the rough drafts are done and we are far enough ahead, we may even start to post. However, we both agreed not to post a WIP story that is not completely developed or properly thought out. I'm sure you can appreciate that as a reader as well. Well, enough of the blah, blah LOL. With a last heartfelt thank you...here is the final part. Enjoy! Love, Michi
Grandma Sarah left the bedroom smiling at Little AJ’s exuberant antics. She saw her grandson standing in the kitchen and walked towards him. Sarah Rabb was thinking about the conversation she had just had with Mac and knew she couldn’t break her promise not to say anything to Harm, but still… she had to do or say something.
She approached Harm quietly, still deep in thought. Harm immediately picked up on her mood. “Hey, Grams, something wrong?” he asked.
She looked towards the bedroom quickly before answering. “Ah… no, dear. Why do you ask?”
“Well…,” Harm continued, “you seem a bit troubled.”
“I guess I am a little. That poor girl up there is so distraught and confused. This whole nightmare has really been hard on her,” Grams concluded.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. She is worried about her eyesight and what will happen at the doctor’s office today. She hasn't said much about her arm, but I know it concerns her. There could be residual effects even after the therapy. She fears it could jeopardize her job and quite possibly her Marine status. It’s a lot for her to deal with all at once, but she is a Marine and one tough cookie at that. She doesn’t think twice about taking on the world, so she will be just fine. I’ll see to that.”
“She might be a Marine, but she is also a woman, Harmon. A very desirable woman, don’t you think?”
Harm pointed his finger at her sheepishly. “Don’t start, Grams.”
“Don’t start what? All I said was….”
“Yes, I know what you said and we can just end it there if you don’t mind.”
“Does she know that you broke up with Renee?”
Her question took Harm by surprise. “What?”
“Are you having trouble with your hearing? I asked…”
“Yes, I know. I heard you the first time. There is nothing wrong with my hearing,” he continued, hoping to evade the question.
“Well?”
“No, Grams, I haven’t told her. I just don’t think that now is the right time with all that’s going on and all,” Harm ended with a heavy sigh.
“Do you want my voice of wisdom?”
“I don’t think it’s going to matter, because you are going to tell me anyway, right?”
Grandma Sarah laughed. “Got me there, kiddo. I don’t think it would hurt. Personally, I think it might do some good. Might make her more at ease. You know, it won’t have her worrying about what her being here is doing to your relationship with Renee. She might perceive you… er… ah things differently. You know…things like that.”
“I don’t know, Grams. I will definitely give it some thought.”
“Good, good. You do that, dear. I think you will see I’m right.” Grandma Sarah smiled and patted her grandson’s cheek lovingly. “You are a good boy.”
Grams turned around beaming from ear to ear. She felt she had gotten her point across without betraying Mac’s confidence. ‘Oohh, Sarah Rabb. You may be old and a little gray, but you still got it. You definitely know how to push the right buttons,’ she proudly thought to herself. ‘I do wonder though, how long I will have to wait until I can finally take Mac into my arms as my granddaughter-in-law. Not long if I have anything to say about it,’ Grams mused smiling.
Harm rubbed the back of his neck nervously and sighed. He had been taken totally by surprise at what Grams just said, and was still contemplating the pros and cons when Little AJ emerged from the bedroom with Mac in tow.
“Unca Harm, Unca Harm,” AJ screeched. “Auntie Mac hung’y.” He was gently leading Mac by the hand as best he could.
Harm raced up the stairs to meet them, swinging AJ up over his shoulder, causing Little AJ to squeal delightfully while he put his other arm around Mac’s shoulder to guide her down the remaining stairs.
“Weeeeeeeeeeeeee,” AJ screeched, clapping his little hands, enjoying the ride on his uncle’s shoulder.
Mac smiled, listening to Little AJ screeching happily. “Be careful, Harm,” she warned. Even though she couldn’t see what was happening, she had an idea that they might be playing just a little too rough.
Harm was laughing out loud at Little AJ’s antics. “I got him, Mac. He’s fine.”
“Okay,” she responded as they proceeded to the kitchen and breakfast.
“What would you like for breakfast, Mac?”
“What are my choices?” Mac asked smiling.
“Well, there is French toast, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast.”
“Wow, a real feast with dead animal even. I’m impressed, Flyboy. Some of each, please,” she replied grinning from ear to ear.
“I should have known. I forgot I was dealing with a Marine’s stomach,” Harm bristled.
“No m’rine stomach… it’s Auntie Mac’s tummy,” Little AJ quickly chimed in.
They all laughed at Little AJ’s comment as they sat down to a fun-filled breakfast.
During breakfast, Harm couldn’t take his eyes off Mac. He also couldn’t stop thinking about what his grandmother had said. He sat there quietly, drinking his coffee, pondering his reasons for not telling Mac about his break-up with Renee.
If he were really honest with himself, none of them were really good reasons. The list was pretty much not the right time… too much on her plate… she might blame herself… the whole thing with Mic… her breakdown… his nightmare.
Then of course, there was the main reason. Their being together felt so right, so natural, so good, so perfect that he hadn’t given it a second thought. It was as though his relationship with Renee had ended a long time ago, and he and Mac were in a relationship now.
If he read between his grandmother’s lines correctly, then maybe he wasn’t the only one with strong feelings, and maybe it was time to get those feelings out into the open once and for all.
*
11:00 AM
Bethesda Hospital
The day was extremely windy, gray, and drizzly with threats of heavier rain predicted throughout the day. Harm had grabbed the umbrella on their way out the door, although being as windy as it was, he had doubted it would be of any use.
The three of them made it to Mac’s appointment on time. Grams had stayed behind to clean up and do some much needed laundry even though Harm protested, telling her he would do it later. She wouldn’t hear of it and shooed them out the door, telling them to get a move on or they would be late.
Mac had been totally silent on the way over while Little AJ babbled on and on about nothing and everything at the same time. Harm smiled as he listened to the little guy while Mac never moved a muscle. He wondered if she had even heard any of his incessant chatter.
The heavy rain was holding off so they were able to make it inside without getting drenched. The three of them walked in hand in hand. AJ insisted on holding on to Mac’s hand. He had appointed himself ‘her protector’ and was guiding her along carefully. “It’s okay, Auntie Mac, we go this way,” he instructed, taking his job very seriously. Harm walked with his arm around her waist as he gave AJ instructions on which way they were headed. Mac let herself be led, appreciating all their loving care and guidance. To say she was a little tense was putting it mildly as Harm watched her constantly clench her teeth.
“Take it easy on those pearly whites, Marine. You are about to wear them out with all that clenching,” he joked.
“I’m sorry, Harm. I guess I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be. I guess after yesterday and not being able to….”
“Maaccc,” Harm jumped in stopping her immediately. “Today is another day. Everything is going to be okay. You’ll see.”
“I hope you’re right. Oh do I hope you’re right.”
*
Mac was now seated on the examining table while Harm sat with AJ on his lap in a nearby chair. AJ was resting his head on his godfather’s shoulder and Mac… well, she was not waiting very patiently. She was chewing on her lip and gripping the edge of the table so tightly, her knuckles were turning white. Harm wanted nothing more than to reach out to her and once again reassure her, but decided to just wait it out. They both feared the unknown. Harm was about to take hold of her hand when the door opened and Dr. Morgan accompanied by Dr. Jacobs walked in.
AJ immediately climbed off Harm’s lap and went to Mac, reaching up to grab her hand. He was wise beyond his almost two years. He knew his Auntie Mac was in need of extra strength and he was going to make sure he gave it to her. Mac smiled at him, squeezing his little hand warmly. “It’s okay, sweetheart. The doctors are just going to examine my eyes. Why don’t you go sit with Uncle Harm, okay? Then when we’re done here, maybe we can convince Uncle Harm to take us to Beltway for a nice, big burger and french fries. How does that sound, sweetie?”
Harm watched the scene in front of him and marveled at how, even with all the stress and tension Mac was feeling, she could put it aside when it came to reassuring her godson and making sure he was all right.
“Can we Unca Harm, can we?”
“Of course, buddy. Now come here so the doctors can look at your Auntie Mac.”
The doctors approached the table and Mac was quickly admitted to having removed the gauze already with no success. “Well, why don’t we just have a look and see, alright?” Dr. Morgan went to the window and closed the blinds, bringing the room into semi-darkness while Dr. Jacobs removed the gauze. Mac’s eyelids fluttered. “Easy,” she instructed her. "Open them slowly.”
She continued to blink her eyes and then slowly opened them, letting them roam around the room as her audience waited as patiently as possible. She groaned softly, her head still pounding and then turned in the direction of Harm and AJ.
For a moment, the room became so eerily silent you could hear a pin drop.
“Nice shirt, AJ” Mac offered a minute later. “But I thought you wanted to be a Marine… traitor,” she said smiling brightly, pointing to the over-sized t-shirt he was wearing. It was the one with the Tomcat on the front and the word ‘NAVY’ on the back. It was the one Mac had stolen from Harm some time ago, the one she had been sleeping in since this whole mess happened. Mac chuckled. Grams obviously had to do a quick job of pinning up the hem of the shirt so he could wear it and not trip over it. It nearly touched the floor. To Mac, he was the cutest thing she had ever laid eyes on… well except for Harm.
Harm felt the moisture form behind his eyes and AJ ran back to Mac. “You can see me… you can see me,” he hollered quite boisterously. His exuberance caused everyone to laugh.
“Mac,” Harm whispered, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “You can see.” He knew it wasn’t the most intelligent thing to say, but that was all that made its way out.
Mac continued to look at him, smiling. “I missed seeing you, Harm. I missed looking into those beautiful eyes of yours.” Yeah, he definitely was the most gorgeous thing she’d ever seen.
AJ was jumping up and down, clapping his hands wildly by this point. “See Unca Harm, tell’d you, kiss make Auntie Mac’s boo-boo go’way.”
Harm ruffled the blonde hair on his head sweetly. “Yeah, champ, you were right.”
Dr. Jacobs cleared her throat, breaking the spell that had settled in the room. “Well, Colonel… how do things look?”
Mac sighed, steadily blinking her eyes. “A little blurry.”
“Not to worry, it’s normal. It should take two to three days for your vision to clear fully. You should continue to wear the gauze to protect against bright light.”
Mac knew she should agree and just drop it, but she didn’t. “Would it be possible to just wear dark glasses instead? I have designer shades that I am just dying to wear,” she joked, grinning at Harm. They were Harm’s sunglasses, the ones his doctor had given him after his own eye surgery. Mac had never seen them, but she knew they wouldn’t look anything like designer glasses. She was sure they would be the run of the mill dollar specials. She didn’t care as long as she didn’t have to put the gauze back on - she would agree to wear anything.
The doctor paused briefly before answering. “Well, if you promise to keep them on constantly during the day and avoid looking into any bright light, I’ll agree to it. That also includes the lights of passing cars, Colonel. That means if you are sitting in the front seat, you should shift your gaze to your side window and not look directly at oncoming headlights or you can simply sit with your eyes closed, which is what I would recommend. The reflection of the headlights off wet pavement could be just as troublesome to your recovery so to avoid that as well. As far as sunlight goes, the weather appears to be in your favor. The sun is not expected to shine again for several days according to the weather report.”
“Done,” Mac agreed instantly, smiling brightly.
Now it was Harm’s turn to jump in. “Is there anything else we should know or be concerned about?” he addressed the doctor directly.
“No. The Colonel just has to make sure to keep the dark glasses on, only to be removed for sleeping for the next five days. The main thing is for her to give her eyes the time they need to heal. They need to rest, so using the gauze every now and then if necessary wouldn’t hurt. After that, if she feels comfortable and her vision is completely restored, she can attempt to drive again. I would recommend she not be alone on her first attempt though. Hopefully you have an automatic, with that broken arm and all,” the doctor quipped.
“Yes, I have and even if I didn’t, I’m sure I could use Harm’s,” she answered, flirtatiously batting her eyelashes at Harm who was now standing right next to her as she sat on the examining table.
Harm was so happy at the way things turned out that he would give her the moon right now if necessary. “Sure, Mac… whatever you want.”
“Uuuuhhhhhh … whatever I want?” she whispered teasingly into his ear.
Harm chuckled. “Power down, Marine. We have an audience. We will have to continue this discussion later,” he whispered back playfully.
Doctor Jacobs smiled and jumped back into the conversation. “If there is continued blurriness with no improvement and any extreme pain, you are to come back immediately. You will experience some discomfort and headaches for a while still. I can prescribe something for you if you like.”
“No,” Mac was quick to respond. “If I need to I will just take some Ibuprofen.”
“Well then, you are free to go and we would like to see you again in one week for a follow up, just to make sure everything is progressing as it should.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Harm and Mac both voiced in unison.
“You’re quite welcome and good luck. We will see you next week sometime,” Dr. Jacobs replied, taking her leave with Dr. Morgan on her heels.
Mac donned the sunglasses Harm handed her and posed demurely for him.
“Cute, Marine… real cute.”
“I know I am,” was her quick response.
Harm shook his head, pointing towards the door. “Let’s get out of here, shall we?”
He then picked up AJ and headed for the door with Mac following close behind.
“I think someone owes us a Beltway burger,” Mac whispered to AJ.
“Yeah, Unca Harm… Bel’way burg’r.”
“Okay, okay, you don’t have to gang up on me. Beltway it is. My God, you might think the two of you haven’t eaten for days,” he said laughing.
“Harm, why… might I ask… is Little AJ wearing my shirt? It isn’t exactly a good fit… not to mention I have been wearing it for several days and it could probably use a good washing.”
“Are you kidding, Mac? The combination of his sweet baby powder scent and your very unique feminine scent, well it just can’t get any better.”
Mac smiled warmly at his sweet comment. “If you say so.”
Harm then shrugged awkwardly. “He decided to wear most of his breakfast and I didn’t have anything else to put on him. He insisted on wearing your shirt, ah my shirt… our shirt.”
Mac laughed and Harm was deriving extreme pleasure seeing her enjoy the humor of the situation.
Harm had put Little AJ down and they each grabbed one of his hands as he walked between them. As they passed a waiting room there was a special bulletin airing, which immediately caught their attention.
It was about the explosion at Mac’s apartment. It was now being treated as intentional. They caught the tail end of the bulletin. Obviously the police department didn’t want to make any confirming statement yet, as the explosion could have been the result of a suicide. They especially wouldn’t be forthcoming if the culprit was still at large. The second explosion was definitely deemed accidental and had nothing to do with the first attack. More news would be presented as it became available.
Harm and Mac stood there stunned at the news they had just heard. Harm looked over at Mac, her expression conveying her worry. He kissed her forehead softly, letting his lips linger there for a moment. “Don’t worry, Mac. Whatever happens, it will be okay. We’ll get through this together.”
Mac nodded her head appreciatively, unable to say anything.
“Come on, Marine. It’s time to go home,” he told her gently as they continued to walk towards the door.
“Yeah, let’s go home,” Mac agreed quietly.
AJ had been listening intently, waiting for a chance to speak. “First we go Bel’way burg’r,” he chimed in matter-of-factly, bringing a round of laughter from his godparents, who looked adoringly at their godson and immediately forgot about the news they just heard.
The End of Chapter I
Was the explosion the result of a suicide or is there an enemy seeking revenge? Will Grandma Sarah’s matchmaking abilities finally bring together what belongs together?
What will the future hold for Harm and Mac? Watch for the second chapter of ‘Home Is Where Your Love is’. Coming soon…